Hello and Welcome!

I am, and always have been, a notoriously bad blogger. But I'm back to give it another try, one more time.

I seem to have rediscovered my "pep" in recent times, and I'm ready to try some new things, and get back into the things that matter to me... at this stage, this chiefly involves getting fit and losing weight (again!)

Monday, December 13, 2010

After a very long absence...

I'm back, at very long last. It's been a while... a very long while. As anyone who has followed my blogging attempts in the past may know, when I go blog-AWOL, it's not a good sign - it usually means I've fallen fair and square off the wagon, started eating like a demon and being slothful on the exercise front. This time is no different really, except that it hasn't gone on as long as previous bouts, thankfully.

But I'm back into it now. I hadn't done any exercise since getting back from holidays until yesterday, but I went to step last night, and I rode my bike to work today. I just stood up to grab something from the other side of the room, and discovered that my legs have siezed up. Crap, looks like the ride home will be interesting. But that aside, I felt SO much better once I'd done step last night. I tried really really hard to talk myself out of going, but once I was in there I enjoyed every minute of it (it was a different instructor, and she was awesome, hope she sticks around). This is the problem with exercise, it's the getting started that's the problem, not the doing. And the longer I leave it, the more sloth-inclined I become. No more I say!

On the D&M side of things, I really need to work through what put me in my food and slothfulness funk this time around. On the whole, I think it was just me trying to eat my stress and emotions - nothing new there. Why I keep falling back to that counter-productive activity is beyond me, but I do it time and time again. Life has gotten on top of me, and I've bitten back by trying to eat it. WTF?

Now, the sources of the stresses, where do I start? In Bali I guess. There were some definite good points to the holiday - some good shopping, lots of good massages, and some much needed time away from the office. There were also some bad points - my Dad is incredibly hard work these days. Alzheimers is a bastard of an illness, and I don't think anyone can really appreciate just how difficult it is to deal with someone with that disease unless they've actually lived through it. If the person you were dealing with was a child (and a lot of the time they do behave exactly like naughty children), you could punish them to bring them into line. What the hell do you do with a 6'2" 110kg "child"? Get incredibly frustrated and wound up, that's what.

So that part of the trip was tough. The other thing from the Bali trip which has given me cause for stress since my return is actually a guy - who would have thought! Ketut is someone who I met in Bali a couple of trips back, and we've kept in contact through Facebook and text messages off and on over the last couple of years. He is completely not the sort of person I would have chosen for myself... and yet I really feel something for him. I expected to go there this time and see him, and have it feel like just a friend, the same as quite a few others I have gotten to know in my many trips. But it feels like something more. I didn't get to see a lot of him this trip, with my dad being demanding as he is and mum not coping well, but what I did see of him was great. I've been kinda depressed about it since getting back, trying to figure out what to do, whether to trust it or not etc etc etc. The problem with people from Bali (in a broad sweeping generalisation) is that they know how to flatter those from the western world to get what they want. I'm usually pretty good at seeing through that kind of thing, but everyone has their weaknesses, you know? So I don't know how Ketut sees me... as a partner, as a friend who flirts, or a ticket to a visa and a better life. How the hell do you really know? I guess I haven't really finished working through the options, but I'm leaning towards doing nothing with it at this stage. My life is already too complicated without adding a MASSIVE complication like this. But it is a shame.

What else is going on? Well, Christmas is going on. On the whole, I love Christmas, but it is becoming a major headache these days. It's always hectic, but my mother has had a mini meltdown this year (and last year, when I come to think of it), and that leaves me to pick up the pieces. I don't blame her at all, her life with my dad is monumentally sucky these days. I do, however, blame my selfish, useless, good-for-nothing brother, who does jack sh*t to help anyone other than himself. While I spent 17 hours on Saturday (yes, 17 hours... left home at 8am and got home at 1am) running around to make mum's life easier - doing Christmas shopping, putting up their Christmas decorations, wrapping a pile of presents for her - he can't even get his sorry ass around to help with a single thing. My mum is really self sufficient for her age, but I seriously don't think she should be getting on the roof to clean the gutters while the place is flooding. But she does it, because useless-brother "doesn't have time" to help. Then he sends me a text to ask if I've bought mum and dad's presents for him to give them. No I f*ing haven't, and no I'm not going to, you lazy prick. OK, sorry about that, really needed to get that off my chest.

In other news I've been sick. Not super duper sick, but I've got a cold which refuses to die. Probably because I've been eating crap and not exercising, and generally a bit run down. I've used it as a great excuse to eat more crap and do nothing of course. Well, no more. I got through step without really noticing the head cold. The only sign of it on my ride this morning was when I had snot running down my face because the lights refused to turn red to give me a chance to blow my nose. Oh, and I had to spit a couple of times. Gross, right? I hate doing that, but the alternative wasn't good. Sorry about the TMI, I'm just putting it all out there today, I CBF editing the thoughts going through my head for what is appropriate to put in writing.

I could go on and on today - that's what happens when I leave a month between blogs I guess. I have still been reading other blogs, but I haven't been posting on them much. I'll try to be more diligent with that, although the next couple of weeks do promise to be annoyingly busy. I'll see what I can do, and I'll try to keep up to date with my own blog too :)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Pre holiday update

That's right ladies and gents, it's 2 days before I am flying away into the sunrise for 10 days in Bali. I don't actually know how good the holiday will be (my dad is a bit of a handful these days and it will probably make for some trying times), but I couldn't care less at this point. As long as I'm not in this office and not in my daily routine, I'm happy. When I think about it, it's been about 6 months since I had a day off work, so no wonder I'm over it. I really need to schedule in a couple of R&R/mental health days in from time to time, to stop me getting to this CBF stage.

Anyways, I'm not sure there's really a lot to report sadly. Official times are still not up from the Glenelg Classic which is giving me the irrits. I think it's because they buggered up the course (even worse than I first knew), and so people have run different distances, which makes sorting out the placings a bit hard. Apparently some of the frontrunners ended up doing like 13km or something, because some marshalls didn't turn up and the lead cyclist went the wrong way. Awesome planning guys.

I pulled up slightly sore in the legs after Sunday, but nothing too excrutiating. I had boot camp on Monday, which was a pretty good session - lots of circuit work and introducing power bands and kettle bells, made things a little more interesting. I piked on my boxing class on Monday night though. In all truth I really could have gone, I wasn't that sore. I just didn't want to. I needed some down time, so I spent the night downloading music and fiddling with the play lists on my ipod for the holiday. Very therapeutic.

Tuesday I did the cycle-commute, just the standard 15km each way with no add ons this week. I felt a bit fatigued, particularly on the way home, but the calorie count was actually pretty low. I think I'm just fatigued in general so everything is a bit of a struggle.

This morning was my last boot camp session. Can anyone say running? The lead instructor started off by saying it would be an easier session today, but perhaps he should have said that to the new recruits instructor. My HRM showed 700 calories for the session (including the jog to and from, but still) - this is the biggest session I had all camp. Running/stop for squats or pushups or whatever/running. More running. More shuttle runs. More running. Lucky all the girly girls who cried over being told to run have already quit, there would have been hyperventilation everywhere.

So bootcamp is done and dusted. An interesting experiment and I did enjoy having the structure of it in my workout routine. Chances of me getting up at 5am to do my own exercise... pretty low. But I had very little trouble doing it for a planned session. I've also taken away some technique tips on running, which I'm trying to incorporate gradually into my running style. Having said that, I can't see myself doing another camp - it's just too expensive for me. I'll have to figure out a new routine for myself after holidays. Of course, if I decide to go ahead with training for a HM in May, it will just be a lot of running and 2 cross training sessions a week. Still not sure if I've got the balls to go for that yet though lol.

The agenda for today is to try and actually pump out some work, but I don't like my chances much. I'm just over it, over it, over it. Having a boss who is never in the office and is completely unaware of what I do with my day has its costs and benefits at times - when I'm remotely motivated, it's awesome not to have someone breathing down your neck and making revolting demands. But when I'm at the seriously CBF stage, there's nothing to push me along in the right direction. Sigh, some people are never happy.

Something I haven't posted about much recently is eating/diet. I've been a bit hit and miss with it. Sometimes really really good, but I've had a couple of bad sessions in there too. I'm really a bit lost with figuring out how much to eat at the moment. With the current exercise schedule I'm feeling too tired and braindead on 1500 calories, but I'm not really a believer in "eating back" exercise calories. It doesn't help that my head is broken. Years of yo-yo dieting and calorie obsession have left me somewhat scarred, and the thought of regularly eating at 1800 kinda freaks me out. Maybe I'll try for 1650 for a while (after holidays, when I won't be counting because it's impossible to figure out what they put in food when you're eating "out" every day, just gonna be as sensible as possible), maybe boost up to 1700 or 1750 when I'm a bit more settled with that. FFS, weight control is so much more about the mind than it is about hunger.

OK, I'm signing off. Chances are I won't update again until after the holiday, so have a lovely couple of weeks everyone :)

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Race report!

I am here, proud to report that I have survived the Glenelg Classic fun run 2010!

The lead up was a bit iffy - I ate badly yesterday (well, very badly actually. WTF was I thinking doing a pile of baking when hormonal and hungry? Seriously.) I went to bed too late and didn't sleep well. I was kinda disorganised too, I didn't know exactly where I had to go for the start of the race until this morning. Oh, and the pants I wanted to wear (because they have good zip pockets for my ipod and car key) didn't get dry in time, so I had a change of wardrobe decision at the last minute.

Despite the dodgy lead up, the race went surprisingly well. I left home about 6.30 and got to the meeting point in plenty of time, about 50 minutes before race time. I had a wander around, did a few stretches, got intimidated by all the super-runners around. After a while I settled down and looked for people who perhaps looked not quite so fit, and convinced myself that I could beat at least one of them. I really really didn't want to come last.

10 minutes before start time, someone on a microphone started talking, but I couldn't understand a word - it was a really crappy sound system they had happening. People started walking up the street, so I did the sheep thing and followed them, assuming we were headed for the start line. We stood around for a while longer, the microphone woman started up again, and all of a sudden people started running - I guess it's start time then!

I did really well with staying to my plan at the start of the race. People everywhere were taking off very fast, but I made sure I kept the pace moderate and kept looking at my watch to make sure my heart rate was staying in the 140's. I think we had only gone about 1km when a few people started to walk, puffing like crazy, so I'm thinking maybe they should have moderated their start a little too.

I found a rhythm pretty quickly today, and for a lot of the race I felt pretty good. It was slightly demoralising to see some of the elite runners coming back the other way (it was an out and back loop course) when I was only at about 3.5km or something, but I kept plugging away at it. My heart rate hit the 150's about the 4 or 5k mark and stayed there, but I was still feeling good, so I'll know for future events that I can sustain that level without tiring too quickly. I paced myself with several other runners who were ahead of me, and managed to catch and pass the majority of them, which is always a nice feeling.

Over the course of the race, I distracted myself by thinking about what goals I wanted to achieve (OK this might have been a rather late time to be thinking about race goals, but better late than never). Before I started, my goals were to run the whole way, and not come last. It became apparent fairly early on that I wouldn't come last, so then I decided I'd like to not be last in my age group. I don't know whether I achieved this or not, I'll check when the times are posted on the website, but I'm pretty sure I will have succeeded with that. I also thought I'd like to finish within 65 minutes for the 10km.

Now I didn't achieve the time goal - I think my time will be around 1:08:30. However, in the aftermath of the race, it was revealed that they stuffed up the course and sent us along too far along one road before doubling back, so the course was actually 10.95km. Hearing that, I was absolutely stoked. I would have smashed my 65 minute goal... and not only can I run 10km, I can run 11!

So all in all, a successful day out. I'm a bit tired, but I'm also really excited about training for more events next year. My next planned outing is the resolution run on 9th January, which is 7km around the Torrens. It could be pretty hot for that one, but otherwise it shouldn't be too tough. There's a 10km Dolphin Run in February. I can't remember what happens after that, but I'll post my 2011 race plans some time soon.

Just a quick shout out to Jess - thinking of you in your race today, and look forward to hearing the full report soon.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Doing the Friday Dance

It's Friday, huzzah! My last Friday at work before holidays - I always love doing that countdown of the last Friday, Monday, Tuesday... before going away. I haven't organised a single thing for going away, nor is my work up to the stage it needs to be before I go, but I couldn't give two hoots right now. I'm going and I just don't care!

So it's been a kind of emotionally draining week at the grindstone, but things are looking up. We seem to have come to an uncomfortable truce in the work war zone, and I'll settle for that, given where things were at early in the week. Bastard isn't usually in on Fridays or Mondays, so all being well I'll only have to see him three more days before I go away, and then for a week or two when I get back. This seems a bit more manageable than it did from the chaos at the start of the week. Now if I can actually get some work done, all will be relatively well on the work front.

On the exercise front, it's been a big week. I'm feeling slightly dazed and dopey now, so I think this is the maximum effort for the time being. Or maybe I should try getting into bed earlier and stop fiddling with my iPhone once I'm there - that might help. Anyway, the Polar is showing a calorie burn of 3739 for the week so far. This is from 3 bootcamps, 1 boxing class, a cycle commute (including an extra loop on the way home), and a 6km run.

My run last night was hard, hard, hard. I shouldn't be surprised though - I was tired, my legs were a bit sore, and it was hot. Not middle-of-summer-in-Adelaide hot, but 29 and humid, which we haven't had much of yet. I'm extremely grateful that the weather forecast is for cool conditions on Sunday for my 10k. If it was hot and humid I really don't think I'd last the distance (I'm concerned about it even in the cool), I was completely spent at the end of 6k last night.

It was still 27 degrees when I got up at 5 for bootcamp this morning, but it looks like the cool change will be coming through shortly. There were so many damn flies this morning, it was disgusting. The stupid things kept trying to get in my ears and mouth while I was doing all manner of torturous activities in the bootcamp circuits (squats, lunges, push ups, sit ups, sprints, burpees, bear crawls, mountain climbers... few others I've managed to block from my memory).

I've only got 2 more bootcamps left now. I'll have to give some thought while I'm on holiday to what my training plan will look like when I get back into it in December. Back to more gym classes I guess. I downloaded a HM training program the other day, and I am giving serious consideration to attempting one next year. The Greenbelt HM is on 1st May, so I could start a 12 week HM training program in February and see if I can do it. There are other HMs in August and October as well, so if I find the training too hard going in the heat, I can always defer and try one of the later ones. I can't believe I'm talking about a HM in the same post as saying I don't think I can make my 10k on the weekend. What a contradiction. It's nice to have goals though :)

As far as weekend plans go, tomorrow is most definitely an exercise free day. I've got lots of "stuff" I need to do - bake a birthday cake for my Pa, cleaning washing and packing ready for holidays, and... crap, I had a long list of stuff I wanted to do and I've already forgotten it. I really need to write this stuff down. Saturday night we're going out for Pa's birthday (I'll be carb loading on pasta! Any excuse.) Sunday morning is the big run, then more housey stuff, then dinner at the parents. I probably won't see the puppies again before we go away, so I'll have to give them extra love and cuddles and walkies on Sunday.

Have a fabulous weekend everyone :0)

Monday, November 8, 2010

Looking for ideas on how to murder someone and not get caught

Howdy peeps, it's been a while. Where to start, where to start? Best start with the title of the blog I suppose.


Onto happier thoughts - I haven't been on the scales, but I'm actually tempted to get on (for the first time in a looooong time). I feel like I've lost quite a bit the last couple of weeks, my clothes are feeling looser and I'm just feeling better about myself. Still a long way to go, but feeling good nonetheless. The pants I'm wearing today were uncomfortably tight in the waist and legs before, but they are now a little too loose. I might have to start going through my packaged up smaller clothes soon, that will be awesome :)

On the exercise front, I did very little on the weekend. I took the dogs for a couple of small walks (one of which resulted in the pug collapsing under a tree 3/4 of the way home and me having to carry him, so I guess there was some incidental weight training there too!) I also spent a few hours in the garden, planting my hedge, fertilising the vegies and roses, doing some weeding. I was busy most of the weekend, just not with dedicated exercise. I'm OK with that, as I did have a big week of it and I was ready for the rest time.

This week so far has seen one boot camp (which has really ramped up now and is challenging), one boxing class, and a ride to work today. Obviously I'll be riding home tonight (beats walking), then there's boot camp on Wednesday and Friday. I'm thinking of a run on Thursday. Saturday might be a rest day, then I've got my 10k fun run on Sunday morning. I hope I can make the distance, I'm starting to feel nervous about it now. Still, if worst comes to worst and I have to walk part of the race, this is not the end of the world. It will give me something to work on for the next race.

I wish I had more boxing classes this week, I have a lot more frustration I need to unload...

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Renovations and punctures

Here we are at Thursday morning, procrastinating about getting into the work on my desk. It's like groundhog day - I do this every day! I really just need to clear out this old crap that I hate working on, get it done, then I can move onto something a little more palatable.

It's all systems go on the home renovation front this week. The roller shutters went up on Tuesday, and they look great. I've got them all pretty much down at the moment, just cos I like to look at them, but they do make the place rather dark. So I think on the weekend I'll open them up and light up the house while I still can - before it gets stinking hot and I have them closed all the time to keep the cool air in. I'm really looking forward to seeing how much difference it makes to the upstairs temperature come summer time. Last summer I could get about 3/4 of the way upstairs and feel a heat wave hit me. As my bedroom is upstairs, this was a most unsatisfactory state of affairs. Here's hoping ($4500 later) that I have gone a good way to resolving that issue.

The paving man came around and gave me a quote on Tuesday too - also more than I wanted to spend, but I liked him and he seemed to know what he was talking about. He rung me yesterday and said they could start my job today if I had decided whether I wanted to proceed. So on a whim I signed up for another $4000 of expenditure on this damn house. It will be excellent to have the dead lawn area paved and useable for the warmer months though.

And lastly on the renovation front, my verandah man called to say that he had got the approval from my soon-to-be neighbours for the verandah I want to put up (it's going along the fence boundary at one side, so the council required signed approval from the neighbours... wouldn't have been such a headache if their house was actually finished and they were living in it. We had to track them down at their current address to get the approval. Fortunately they couldn't care less about the verandah and were happy to sign on the dotted line). So that has gone back to council, and we should have formal approval by next week, then construction can be done in December. With the exception of a side garden bed which I'm going to do myself, the whole yard (front and back) will be all done by the beginning of December. How exciting. OK, it will have taken me a whole 12 months since I moved in, but I am nevertheless still very excited by this outcome.

Onto all things diet and exercise related. I'm pretty tired, but the exercise has been going well this week. Since my last blog, I've done an 8km run (50 minutes and felt pretty good, apart from one mofo hill), Wednesday bootcamp (starting to enjoy these now, getting harder), and a cycle to work this morning. All good, except for the flat tyre I got this morning, grr. I'll have to borrow a car and take it to the bike shop at lunch and get it fixed, so I can ride it home. Getting to work took me about 1 hour and 5 this morning, instead of 40-45 minutes, seeing as I had to walk, pushing a bike, for a few km. Such is life. Anyway, with a cycle home tonight and bootcamp tomorrow morning, my calorie burn for the week should be over 3500. If I feel the need to do anything on the weekend I will, but if I feel like just resting up (and taking my dad out, and shopping, and basketball... all the weekendy type stuff), then I'll do that too with no guilt whatsoever.

My bootcamp people have given us all sorts of vouchers for referrals to allied health people that they have teamed up with. I've decided against the podiatrist (who used to be a client at my accounting firm... could be awkward). I'm giving some thought to the chiropractor (www.drbretthill.com) as I do need a new one - his website looks kind of interesting, he's into a lot more than just chiropractic. Maybe I could see him for a "wellness" consultation too. I just hate seeing new medical people, I find it so uncomfortable. Time to suck it up I suspect. The other voucher I have is for a fitness assessment, nutrition consult and 1/2 hour PT session for $30. I don't know whether to do this or not - I'm concerned that it will just be a big sales pitch, and there's no way that I would be signing up for regular PT sessions there (it's on the wrong side of town for me, and I just can't justify the cost at this stage). I don't know, I'm so indecisive.

Anyways, time to get into this revolting project on my desk. Hope everyone else's day is starting better than mine!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Working from home

I'm working from home today. I have been very much looking forward to this, just a day out of the office and the stream of people at the door asking damn fool questions that they could answer themselves if they actually stopped and thought for a minute. A day of getting up and dressing in trackies and a jumper. Not sure how much work is going to get done here, but hey, we'll see how we go.

There is actually a reason for working from home - my roller shutters are going up today, hooray! Mind you it does sound a little like a construction site here, so concentration may not be at its optimal level for the day. Someone is currently drilling a hole in my brick wall, lovely sounds.

So what's been happening since my last confession (I mean, blog)? Well, there was the weekend, and that in truth is a confession rather than a blog. I skipped the gym on Saturday, but I'm ok with that. I was tired and sore, and mentally just a bit run down after a big week. I was awake early on Saturday, but I stayed in bed and read for a while, and pottered about the house for half the day, not really achieving a whole lot but getting some peace and sanity back. I went up to the shops for a couple of hours and picked up a few bits and pieces. It's time to start looking for Christmas presents already, so there will be plenty of mindless shop wandering in my future I fear. On the whole Saturday was ok, a bit slothful, but therapeutic nonetheless.

Sunday was not so therapeutic. I had planned a run, which didn't happen. I had not planned to eat half the ingredients of my baking, which did happen. Yep, seriously not ideal, but I've come to terms with it and moved on. I did exhibit some binging behaviour, which is always a worry with where I've been in the last couple of years. But I did it pretty mindfully, and I reigned it in at a single "meal", and didn't keep on for the whole day (or week, or month...) It did bring to the forefront something that I really still need to work on though - I eat to finish things. I've half eaten that packet, so I might as well finish it off. I've started now, I might as well keep going. That is not a healthy view on things, and I need to work on strategies to mitigate this behaviour. I have read blogs where people have put dishwashing liquid on food they might be tempted to eat before throwing it in the bin. That's a possibility!

Anyway, moving on. Monday yesterday, and the beginning of a new week of damn early mornings. It started with boot camp, which is really starting to fire up now, which is good. I'm not sure I much appreciated the bare foot running component of the session, given it was 5 degrees at the time... but we all lived through it with no frostbite involved. There were lots of squats, lunges and push ups and other little drills to keep us occupied. No situps and that type of thing, seeing as the ground was really wet. I'm sure that joy will be waiting for us later in the week.

On to Monday night, where I very nearly managed to talk myself out of going to boxing, but eventually sucked it up and went anyway. I'm really starting to enjoy these sessions - they're not big calorie burners (I guess because you spend a bit of time holding mits and bags for other people), but they're really varied and interesting. My skipping is improving a lot, and the ability to punch the crap out a bag and imagine annoying people's faces on the bag at the time is quite an enjoyable experience.

The boxing session finished at 8.10, and I realised I had left my phone at work, which really p'd me off. Normally I would have left it, but as I'm not at work today (and I don't have a home phone for people to contact me), I had to go back in and get it. Bloody annoying. So I didn't get home til close to 9, and just raided the fridge for the easiest thing I could get my hands on. Left over roast pork, and fresh pineapple. Weird meal, but it works. I stayed up pretty late, watching crap on tv and flicking around on the net, so there was no early start for me today. I will try to get out for a run in the late arvo though.

On a final point, I got on the scales this morning. A most pleasing 90.8kg greeted me, so 4.5kg down in the last month. I should be able to smash the 90 by the time we head to Bali in 18 days, will probably look to maintain for the 10 days away, and then get back into it on my return. Bring on the 80's (and 70's... but one step at a time).

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Boot camp and running

So I'm pretty sure my fitness has improved this week. But good grief I'm buggered. Boot camp Monday, Wednesday, Friday, cycling to and from work Tuesday, 8km run on Thursday. It's been a while (say, 6 or 8 months) since I've gone without a rest day during the week, and I'm feelin' it. I'm very much looking forward to being an utter sloth tonight.

I'm not sure it's the exercise itself, so much as the time and organisation. Getting out of the house at 5.20am for boot camp (or at 4am on stupid Monday with crazy work day), well that kinda takes its toll. Yesterday I slept in to 6.30, or at least I should say I attempted to sleep in. My body clock was obviously a bit confused, and kept waking up every 15 minutes or so from 4am, alerting me enough to wonder what time it was, realise I didn't have to get up, and then drifting off again. It's quite unrestful and quite annoying really. Maybe I'd be better off just getting up at stupid-o'clock every day, and doing my run on Thursday morning instead of night. The problem is I'm then limited to about half an hour if I don't want to be late for work and/or run in the dark - and I'm trying to increase my times and distances at the moment. Ah who knows, I'll work it out in time. I'll just get myself into a routine and then I'll be off on holidays, screw it all up and need to get myself sorted all over again.

The run down on bootcamp. Well, the jury is still out. The first session I mentioned before, was pretty easy. The second session was even more so, which kinda peeved me. If I'm getting up at 5am, I want to be getting some bang for my buck you know? Wednesday was mainly focussed on running technique, but there was a whole lot more watching than doing. Lucky I've decided to park my car at work and jog to and from the sessions (which is only half a km or so away, at a guess, maybe slightly further), otherwise I think the calorie burn would be negligible. It was 415 on Wednesday, including my jog to and from. Pathetic.

Today's session was a lot more hard core - just on the day I was feeling tired and sore from the previous night's run, and quite pleased about the concept of an easy one! Murphy's Law. Today we did some bare foot running, and some circuit work - lunges, mountain climbers, back extensions, pose running, gluteal lifts and 100m sprints. Rinse and repeat. Plus a few other little jogs and stuff thrown in for good measure. 560 calories for the session, and I think I earned every one of them, it certainly felt a whole lot more than 150 extra calories over Wednesday's efforts. If it keeps up like this though, I'll be happy - pushing me to do stuff that I don't do anywhere else, that's what I was after when I signed up.

Last night's run was a tough one. I mapped out an 8km circuit from work and got myself going. It was hot (not summer hot, but still 28 and a bit humid, which I'm not used to yet this year), I forgot to take chewing gum (so I got a dry mouth), my feet sweated like a warthog and I got blisters. But be damned I still finished it - I didn't walk, I didn't take any of the multitudinous shortcuts I could have to get back faster, and I really pushed it out the last half a km, getting my heart rate up into the 170's... a sure measure of when I feel like I'm going to die. 53 minutes and 730 calories later, I was glad I'd done it, but boy was it hard work. Being tired and a bit run down probably didn't help either. Meh.

Now, what's on for the weekend? As little as possible for me! The weather is looking pretty dismal actually, so I don't think much will be happening outdoors. I'm going to the basketball on Sunday afternoon, and by tradition this means that mum and dad come back for dinner at my place - so some cooking will be going on. Saturday is currently completely free, which is just awesome. The house is a mess, so I will need to operate on that a little. I'm still deciding whether I will go to the gym. I probably should, but I'll see how sore I pull up.

Have a great weekend!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Random info

Here's a pile of questions, stolen from http://spunkysuzi.blogspot.com/... with my own answers of course :)

1. What time did you get up this morning? 5:50am, ready to leave to cycle to work at 6.30

2. How do you like your steak? Medium

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? It might have been Twilight Eclipse? Not sure.

4. What is your favorite TV show? The Good Wife, Glee or Grey's Anatomy. Can't decide.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Can't see myself living anywhere other than Australia, it's the best place in the world.

6. What did you have for breakfast? Guardian cereal with skim milk.

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Italian

8. What foods do you dislike? Lots - I'm pretty fussy. Bananas and most fish would top the list.

9. Favorite Place to Eat? Italian cafe

10. Favorite dressing? Not a big fan of salad dressing, I'd prefer it plain

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? Renault Megane

12. What are your favorite clothes? Comfy stuff - jeans and a jumper

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Depends on the day

15. Where would you want to retire? Probably not far from where I am now. I'll let you know in 30 years or so.

16. Favorite time of day? Evening

17. Where were you born? Adelaide, South Australia

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Basketball

19. How many siblings? One brother

20. Favorite pastime/hobby? Cooking

22. Bird watcher? No

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? I'm more alert in the mornings, but if I'm on holidays and don't have to get up early, I get more and more into night mode.

24. Do you have any pets? No, I'm not home enough. I do miss having puppies at home though.

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? Uh, no.

26. What did you want to be when you were little? A teacher. This is completely laughable now, seeing as I can't stand children!

27. What is your best childhood memory? "Helping" mum and dad in the garden by taking rides in the wheelbarrow and jumping on the green waste bin!

28. Are you a cat or dog person? Definitely a dog person

29. Are you married? Nope, I'm too selfish.

30. Always wear your seat belt? Yes, my car beeps really annoyingly if I don't.

31. Been in a car accident? Yes, a couple. Nothing serious.

32. Any pet peeves? Loads, I'm relatively intolerant. Laziness, poor spelling, slow drivers. The list goes on.

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Pineapple

34. Favorite Flower? Oriental lily

35. Favorite ice cream? Mint

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Not a fast food fan.

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? None

38. From whom did you get your last email? Can't remember - someone at work.

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? It depends on my mood, but kitchen and electrical stores can be my downfall.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? Sadly not!

41. Like your job? Sigh, I'm over it at the moment. But I'm one of those live to work type people, so I'd be lost without it.

42. Broccoli? Yum

43. What was your favorite vacation? South East Asian cruise

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? My friend Lou

45. What are you listening to right now? Iron Chef Australia in the background

46. What is your favorite color? ???? Blue

47. How many tattoos do you have? None. Seriously not a fan.

49. What time did you finish this quiz? 8:32pm

50. Coffee Drinker? Major addict.

Monday, October 25, 2010

I am SOOO tired

It's 7.20pm and I'm hanging out for bed. I've got a few things I need to do (make my lunch, pack my clothes, unload the dishwasher, that type of crap), and I'm having trouble getting up to do it. So I'm gonna blog, then I'm gonna do chores, then I'm gonna go to bed for some hard core zzzz.

And why am I so tired I hear you ask? Well an urgent project came up at 5pm on Friday, and my weekend was already full, so I couldn't get a start on it over the weekend. I also had my first boot-ee camp scheduled for this morning, so the only way to get a good start on the project was to have a frightfully early morning. I got up at 3.50 this morning, on the road to work at 4am, got working at 4.30. This gave me a good 80 minutes start time before I jogged down the road to the bootcamp session. Then I jogged back, and got back into work. 13 hours of work later, we got it done, but I would really rather not repeat this day any time soon.

So, bootcamp. Yeah, didn't need to be scared of that really. They kept saying that it will get harder as it goes along, but it was pretty easy going today. Quite a few push ups and squats, and a bit of running, but that was about it. My pushups are crap, but I already knew that. My upper body strength is suspect, plus I'm 20+kg overweight, so it's hard to push that excess lard up and down. I wasn't too bad on the push ups when I was thin, so hopefully I can work back towards that. My squats were really good, got through 70 in the 2 minute test period, which was better than most. We did a 600m time trial too, and I finished that in 3 min 14 seconds, which was in the top 10 or so. Not bad, but room for improvement.

It's a big group at the boot camp, probably 50 odd people. I wasn't the heaviest (which I was worried about) and I certainly wasn't the unfittest. I never realised how many chicks are scared of running. Like seriously freaking out scared of it. When Duncan said we had to run to the flag in the distance and then back, I thought some of them were actually going to cry. You'd think we'd been asked to run a marathon. The other thing I found weird was the attitude on some of them - just flat out refusing to even try to run, walking the whole way, and not even power walking at that. It's not like anyone is forcing us to be there, we've paid money to be there. Why not give it a go for goodness sakes. Ok, rant over. The next session is on Wednesday morning, so it will be interesting to see what we progress to next.

Trending backwards now, the weekend roundup. Friday night I did nothing much, just couldn't really be buggered with anything. Watched the basketball on One HD - I am loving the free to air coverage this year. I love basketball season. On Saturday morning, I was guilted into getting up for a run (Jess, if you're reading - I hated you for 45 minutes on Saturday morning, but after I got over that, I thought you were awesome for getting me out there :-) So I ran about 7.65km in 47 minutes, including some hills. My pace is increasing and I'm getting some reasonable distances in. I should be ok for the 10k Glenelg Classic next month, even if I'm not running that far around my usual tracks yet, it will be on the flat and much easier.

The rest of Saturday was spent at home shows (which were really pretty crap actually), a bit of shopping, and a quick walk with the pug. Oh, and the pug only lost 200g this fortnight, I guess he needs more walks. Saturday night I caught up with Lou for dinner and some board games (what a high flying life I lead).

Sunday - early trip to the markets as usual. I'm eating more fruit than I ever have these days, which I'm putting down to the fact that I'm not getting my sugar fix from chocolate and other crap. The pineapples are just devine at the moment, yum. After the markets I took my dad on the Active Aging walk around the botanic gardens and river Torrens. It was only $5 to enter, so I wasn't expecting much, but it was done really well. There would have been a few hundred people there, and loads of volunteers keeping everyone on the right track. There were little goodie bags at the end with some sample products, and free fruit, plus coffee and hamburgers for sale. I must say I was impressed. Dad seemed to enjoy himself too, but it completely exhausted him. I dropped him home then went back to my place to do some cooking and gardening at my place. I went back to mum and dad's for dinner later, and dad was really wiped out. The exercise will do him good though.

So for the week ahead... I'm having a bit of trouble planning my exercise around the boot camp stuff. Wednesday and Friday mornings will be boot camp. I took my stuff with me for boxing tonight, but I seriously overestimated my ability to get through a day as long and stressful as this one. I just need to collapse in a heap and start afresh tomorrow. I think I'll ride to and from work tomorrow. Thursday I'll be working from home while my roller shutters are installed (hooray), so I'll have to ponder what exercise I fit in with that.

Righty then, chores then bed. Ciao all.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Slackness, then Cycling

Friday! Roll on weekend. It's gonna be a busy one, but at least it won't involve being locked up in this office. I seriously need to look at my work attitude at the moment, I couldn't give a rats about this place right now. The work is piling up around me, and I'm making holiday plans, training plans, writing blogs, doing anything other than being productive. Hmm, think I really need that holiday... 4 weeks to the day and counting.

So, Thursday - sloth. I woke up to my alarm and thought No Freaking Way am I getting out of bed right now. My upper body was caning (the increase in weights at Pump on Tuesday obviously had their effect), and the circuit just wasn't going to happen. So I went back to sleep and ended up being late. Meh. I also made myself slightly later by grabbing my HRM, putting it on and going back to bed to redo the fitness test. This came back with a reading of 40 ("good") instead of the 29 ("low") I got on the weekend, so that's better. My calorie burn this morning looks better too, so hopefully that's fixed the problem.

Thursday night I was planning on either doing the spin class at the gym, or doing a run from work. Given I was planning on cycling to work on Friday, I thought the spin class might be overkill, so I settled on the run. Got myself all changed and ready... then realised I'd left my sneakers at home. Dumb ass. So that was cancelled, and I went home and made dinner and watched Glee and The Good Wife instead. Really jacked that Alicia didn't hook up with Will by the way. Sorry about that tangent.

I made sure I was nice and organised last night, so this morning I was ready to hit the road. I haven't ridden Matilda (the road bike) for ages so I thought I would struggle. I did struggle on a few of the hills, but less than I thought I would - I did the 15km in about 40 minutes, including traffic lights etc, and I didn't die. My legs certainly felt it, and I know they're out of condition for cycling, but I'm sure I'll pick it up again in a reasonable time. Calorie burn was 430 for the ride, which is roughly what I would have expected - happy with that.

Now, for the weekend. It's going to be pretty busy with the home shows, dinner with a friend, markets, family amble, travel show and pug walk. Not sure that any dedicated exercise is going to fit in there. I'm half considering getting up early tomorrow morning to do a run before I head to mums to pick her up for the home shows. The other half of me is thinking about whether I'm going to want to get out of bed super early on a Saturday morning, and I think I have my answer. Barring devine intervention, I'm thinking my exercise total will be down this week.

Next week I'm starting bootcamp. I was looking forward to this until now - and now I'm just scared. They won't actually kill me right? It'll just feel like it at the time? Eeek. If I don't post next week, ring the hospitals, stat.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

General life, general whinge, and hatred of HRMs

Hi ho, nothing much to update in my world, but I do fancy having a bit of a whinge, so here I am. Nobody in the non-online world wants to listen, so I might as well burden the blog community with my lunatic ravings.

My legs hurt. And my arms hurt. My back and chest do too. Let's just say I'm a ball of hurt today. The trouble is, I know it's going to get worse from here as the DOMS sets in from last night's pump class. Fortunately my legs weren't too sore when I first woke up this morning, or there's no way I would have gone out for a run. I'm still in that trying-to-talk-myself-out-of-everything mode at the moment. Nevertheless, I did go for a quick jog around the neighbourhood this morning, and I can now happily report that the remainder of today will be exercise free. Well I might take the weight-loss pug on a quick jaunt around the block if I get to mum's early enough for tea, but that doesn't really count.

I'm not entirely sure where my last blog left off, so hopefully I don't repeat. Monday night I went to boxing, and it was good. I'm feeling it more in my middle back than anywhere else, but I'm happy to get some good muscles happening there. My skipping is also improving out of sight, and that's an awesome cardio workout.

Tuesday morning was the circuit, which was ok without anything fabulous to report. Last night was a 10 minute cardio warm up, then the pump class. I upped my weights last night, hence the soreness today I suspect. Weights last night were 15lb for warm up, biceps, and triceps; 10lb for shoulders and lunges; 25lb for squats; 20lb for chest and back.

My HRM is showing really low and pathetic calorie burns at the moment. So I hate it. I've worked out that this has happened since I did the fitness test thing on the weekend. It came in at a really low value which I thought was weird at the time - my fitness isn't brilliant yet, but it isn't awful either. I had my exercise level set to moderate when it should be high, and I did the test sitting up and with some distractions happening, so I think I need to do it again and see if that fixes the problem. If it doesn't I think I'm going to throw the stupid thing from here to next week - it's certainly not acting as a motivator with what it's spitting out at the moment.

OK enough complaining from me. I'll be back to whinge again soon - it seems to be my mood of the moment, apologies for that.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Fake it til you make it

I'm well and truly in "fake it" mode at the moment. I just can't be bothered. I don't want to go to the gym. I don't want to go to work. I don't want to eat well. I don't want to look after my dad and mollycoddle my mum. But that's life, all of the above are non-negotiables and I just need to get on with it.

For the most part, I've been doing ok. On Saturday I went to the gym and did back to back classes in Step and Body Bar. On Sunday I jogged to mum's place (with a detour to make it longer) - about 7km trip, with the nasty hills at the end of the run, argh. Monday morning I skipped my usual run and was incredibly unmotivated in the evening, but I made it to boxing anyway, and I really enjoyed myself. This morning I had issues getting out of bed, but managed to drag myself along to the circuit. Tonight the plan is for body bar, and a bit of time on the cross trainer.

As for the rest of the week, I'm planning on doing a jog tomorrow morning, a circuit Thursday morning, spin Thursday night, and a jog Friday night. No rest day during the week, because the weekend is looking a bit full to fit any exercise in. Saturday is home show day (there's two on in one weekend - seriously, Adelaide has no idea how to organise itself. We could go 2 months with no events, then everything gets crammed in at the same time). Sunday is the Family Amble, which I think is going to be a slow wander through the botanic gardens. I'm taking my dad to give him an outing and a bit of exercise, it's organised by Active Aging Australia, so hopefully it should be non-confrontational enough for him, surely there will be some other Alzheimer sufferers there too. There are 1.5km, 3km and 4km options, and I've entered us in the 4km, which I'm now not sure was a good idea - the old Pa is slowing down pretty rapidly at the moment. Oh well, if he has to stop and sit on park benches along the way it won't matter, it's an amble not a race after all.

The travel show is on this weekend too. I'm thinking we might call in on the way home from the family amble if Pa isn't too knackered. Not that we need to book in any more holidays, we certainly don't, we've got Bali and the Pacific cruise already booked in. It would be good to pick up a couple of brochures on New Caledonia and Vanuatu though, so we can start thinking about what we might like to do on days in port on the cruise.

Speaking of holidays... I haven't really been too excited about the approaching Bali holiday thus far (it is about my 8th trip there or something stupid). However, yesterday I did some reading up on the Bali Forum and Trip Advisor, and it's got me excited. It's 4 weeks and 3 days til we fly, and all of a sudden I'm hanging out for it. It's more that I need a break from work than anything I think, but whatever, I'm looking forward to the holiday. We're staying somewhere we've never stayed before (or even looked through), which is always a bit of a risk, but the Trip Advisor reviews have been awesome in the last few months. We'll be at the Febri's this trip, in Tuban. It's not on the beach, but I never go to the beach anyway - lily white skin and burning hot sun do not a good combination make. It's about 5 minutes away from Discovery Mall, which could be a problem... blueberry bread from Bread Talk, I can taste it already! We need to start making some plans of what we're going to do, at the moment all we've got scheduled is shopping and massages. Who knows, that might be all we end up doing, relax, relax relax. I'm not sure there's any day trips we want to take, having done a lot of them in the past. We've been elephant treking, we've been to Kintamani in the mountains, we've been to the bird park, the safari park, the zoo, we've been parasailing and banana boating. Personally I'd like to do the white water rafting and village cycling, but it's just not practical with the parents in tow. I need to find a Bali guide for old people lol.

Ah well, better try and get some work done, seeing as I did bugger all yesterday. 4 weeks, 3 days and counting...

Thursday, October 14, 2010


I haven't posted much of late, because honestly there hasn't been a lot to say. Eating and exercise is still going pretty well. I've been eating on or under my calories every day this week which is good. The downside is that I've gotten back into that head space of thinking about food all day long, and when the next meal or snack is coming along. Sigh, counting calories has this effect on me, but it's also the only way I lose weight. So I think I'm going to have to suck it up for a while.

On the exercise front, I've done a couple of runs on Monday and Thursday, a circuit and body bar on Tuesday, and boxing on Monday. Today was scheduled to be a run, but Harvey Norman are having a VIP sale, and it's raining, so I'm going shopping instead. I've been through the guilt phase with missing my planned exercise, and I'm now at the acceptance stage. When I started getting healthy again, I knew that I didn't want to get so obsessed that any small deviation in plans put me into a spin. I'm getting close to that stage already, and it's time to step back. My life is not as free and easy as it was last time I was on a health bender, and I need to accept that "stuff" will come up and interrupt my plans. I might be able to sneak a run in on Sunday to make up for missing today. If not, too bad, this is a journey not a race to the finish.

On to the title of the blog - I'm grumpy. For no single reason, just grumpy in general. Lots of little things are niggling at me and giving me the cranks. One I have just dealt with, I just changed my home and contents insurance from RAA to Allianz. I got my policy renewal in the post this week, and it went up like $10 a month. I called them about it and they said my internet policy honeymoon rate had run out and there's nothing they can do about it. So I very politely told them there's something I can do about it, and cancelled the policy. The woman was quite shocked, but seriously, why would I pay $850 with RAA when I can pay $650 with Allianz for the same cover? Sheesh.

What's on for the weekend? Tonight I'm shopping at Harvey Norman (for stuff I don't need), then watching the NBL season opener on One HD. Huzzah for the basketball season, I love it. Saturday is reserved for the gym and housey stuff (cooking, cleaning, gardening - assuming it doesn't pour all day). Sunday is for the markets, a bit of me time, hopefully a run, then the first 36ers home game at 4.30. I haven't quite thought what we're going to do about dinner after the game - maybe I'll put something into the slow cooker to have when we come home. Hmm, ponderances.

Have a good weekend one and all xxx

Monday, October 11, 2010

Body idol

As a result of the blog from Jess over at http://www.tri-thatshowiroll.com/ today, I have been on the hunt for a body idol. A fit, healthy, not super-skinny body to aspire to. And here's who I have decided on - Sarah Varco, a celebrity trainer. Now THAT'S something to aim for.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Bit slack on the updates

Okey dokey, I've been a bit slack on the updates for a few days. I'll cram it all into the one blog - life hasn't been so exciting that it can't be summarised in a few decent paragraphs methinks.

So where were we up to last blog? Friday somewhere I assume. I didn't run on Friday morning, but I did do a 5.75km circuit from the office on Friday night, even though I really really didn't feel like it. It's the same route as I used a couple of weeks ago, and I knocked 90 seconds off the time, so that was a good sign. I struggled pretty much the whole run though, my heart rate was high, my shins hurt, and I just wanted to finish it. I think I burnt 620 odd calories in under 40 minutes, so the body was definitely protesting on some level.

After the Friday run, I came back to work and finished off some stuff that had been bugging me, and ended up getting home about 9.30. There were some bananas left over in the fruit box at work last week, so I took them home and baked with them. 3 dozen banana biscuits and a loaf of banana bread was baked on Friday night. I love baking with bananas - I hate them, so I'm never tempted to eat the goodies lol.

Saturday morning was an early start for "carpark caper", a gardening type expo thing at the ABC building. Seriously, could my life get any sadder, getting up at 7 on a Saturday to wander around plant stalls. It was good though. I didn't buy anything, but I did aide and abet my mother in choosing several plants and other accessories. It was damn heavy to carry it all back to the car mind you.

The plan after carpark capers was for mum to head for home, and me to head for the gym. I just wasn't in the mood, so I followed her straight back to her place. I had a cooking lesson from mum on how to make bread pudding, an old family recipe made by the women on my mum's side. Mum is the last remaining person who can make it properly, so I very considerately told her recently that I had to learn to make it before she died. She took this in good humour (bless her) and gave me a good lesson. It's a bit tricky because there isn't a recipe as such - it always uses roughly the same ingredients, but the quantities vary, and you just have to go by look and feel. I think I've got it though. The finished product was unfortunately too good, I couldn't stop eating it. More on this later.

After the cooking adventure, I took Dad out shopping. We looked at some paving places for some ideas for my backyard (far out they're expensive), then went to the shopping centre. Lunch, grocery shopping, a couple of other odds and ends, then home. Dad was exhausted, he's not looking that well at the moment.

I took the puppies for a nice walk, then got back to mum's and cooked dinner. I tried out the fake-KFC chicken recipe someone posted on CK last week, but using chicken breast rather than drumsticks. It was a resounding success, all 3 of us enjoyed it. We watched some of the Commonwealth Games, and I eventually called it a night. Sometimes I think I should still live in that house, I spend enough hours there.

Sunday morning - another early one, down to the markets at 6.15 for lovely fresh fruit and veg, and a leisurely wander of trash and treasure. I was lacking any real motivation to do anything after the markets, so I spent an hour or two lazing about, and eventually got moving. Lots of house cleaning, little bit of weeding and gardening, little bit of cooking - all the usual Sunday stuff.

Late in the afternoon the bloke who is going to build my verandah came around to go through all the finer details, so that he can draw up the sales contract. He's coming back on Wednesday evening for me to sign off and get it underway, which is very exciting in an I'm-spending-$9,000 kind of way.

I was really tired last night after a few late nights and early mornings, so I made sure I headed to bed nice and early. I read for a bit too long, but still managed a reasonable amount of sleep thankfully. Slightly off topic, but I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love - the movie has just come out. Well, it's boring. I'm giving it one more night's reading time to prove that something is actually going to happen, then I'm sacking it.

This morning I tried everything to talk myself out of going for a run (it's windy, I'm tired, my knee hurts, my ankle hurts, my shins might hurt), but eventually sucked it up and went out. I ran 5.5km, which again was not comfortable. Interestingly enough, I didn't feel like I had a rhythm until about 4km in when I was coming back up a hill. Not sure what's going on there, but anyway I'm definitely glad I didn't manage to talk myself out of going altogether.

We're just about up to date. Something I alluded to above, talking about the bread pudding, was eating a lot (too much). Saturday was not good, I ate way too much. It could have been worse, but still not good. I still have that mentality of "I've already blown it today, may as well keep on eating". This makes no freaking sense whatsoever, and I would think I was a nut case if I didn't see so many other people on weight loss and binge eating blogs dealing with the same thing. It looks like this will be a struggle for a time to come.

Another discovery with my eating on the weekend, is just how bad I get when I'm at mum's place. The cupboard is always full of tasty evils, and the minute I'm in the door I'm thinking about food. Something in my mind connects that house to eating with reckless abandon. I grew up in that house and truth be known I ate with reckless abandon through much of my youth and early adulthood, so on some levels it makes sense. The thing that doesn't make sense is that I also managed to lose 35kg and get fit and healthy in that house only a few years ago. Why did I have willpower then but not now? Is it just the effect of having none of that crap around me at my house, and then it's like a buffet going to mum's place? I'm sure other places I go have the same level of unhealthy temptations, the difference being I suppose that I can't go to the cupboard and help myself anywhere other than home. I think those cupboards need a padlock to protect me from myself.

Hmm, I shouldn't have blogged about food after lunch, I'm hungry again already!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Feeling meh

I've been feeling a bit blah the last couple of days. Yesterday I could have eaten every carb known to man kind. I resisted pretty well all day, but had a small encounter with the cereal packet when I got home late last night. It's all good, my weekly cals will still be under, and I've been OK today. Thinking about food literally all day, and would have liked to eat all day, but I haven't given into that impulse thankfully.

What is interesting is that I don't really know what I'm craving. I just want food. I'm pretty sure this is a boredom thing, because the project I'm working on at work is driving me completely insane. I was also up really late last night, which was stupid considering I was having a ravenous day. I think I need some good sleep, so it will be an early one tonight methinks.

Exercise wise things are going OK. I got up and went to the curcuit this morning, despite being tired and really not inspired. Yay me. Tomorrow I'm thinking I'll do a run after work, around the eastern suburbs where it's nice and flat, rather than getting up for a morning jog in the hills.

I ordered a new electrode strap for my HRM today, which with any luck will be delivered tomorrow (thank you Jess for saving me a couple hundred $$$ and not replacing the whole unit). This will give me a better idea of what I'm burning with my current regime, and then I can tweak it as necessary. In my mind I'm thinking 3500 exercise calories a week would be a good aim. I suspect I might need to up the ante on what I'm currently doing to achieve that. Now the weather is nicer, it would be a good idea to dust off Matilda the bike and ride to work one day a week. That used to give me an 800 odd calorie burn I think (although I did live further away from the office now I come to think of it). That will be on next week's to do list - get Matilda serviced and back on the road.

Is 8:30pm too early for bed? I don't care if I'm a granny, I'm buggered. Zzzz.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Musings of a maniac

I've just got thoughts buzzing around in my head randomly at the moment, so I thought I'd spit them all out here. Probably not logically or with any consistent flow, but blogs are like that sometimes.

Firstly, I'm an idiot. A down right fool. If I was on CK and saw someone complaining that they're not using their calories, or wondering if it was OK to not eat their calorie limit, I'd grumble to myself about how annoying it is. Yet here I am doing exactly the same thing. It's times like this that make me realise just how much of a head game weight loss is.

So I sit at my desk half the day thinking I'd like something extra to eat, but then convincing myself that I don't need it. Great for the concentration while working on some pretty complex accounts, I might add. I'm just terrified of eating too much earlier in the day and running out of calories at night. But then I want to get out of the habit of eating after dinner. Can't have it both ways, dumbo. Seriously, this is not brain surgery, the logical person in me can see the answers right in front of my face. But can I take my own advice? Not often. I seriously need to work on this.

Now, about the aftermath of my 10k on Monday. I'm thinking I probably shouldn't have done so much so soon, but it's done now, and it does make me want to do more - running is like that. I hate taking off for a run, and I don't much like it while I'm doing it most of the time, but I LOVE the feeling afterwards. It's such an achievement. But should a 25kg overweight person who is 3 weeks back into a fitness regime be going out running 10k on the pavement? Well my knees, ankles, hips and lower back are suggesting perhaps not.

I was reading something the other day (I can't remember where off hand...) about the power of muscle memory, and how people returning to exercise can have much more rapid results than those doing it the first time. The article was talking more about weight bearing exercise and body building, but I think this must apply to running, and probably other cardio based exercise, as well. I doubt whether many people at my current weight and in my current level of conditioning (i.e. very poor) could have pushed on for a 10k run, particularly in the hilly sections. I'm certain I didn't do so much so soon when I was first getting fit a few years ago. It's not because I'm so tough now, or so immune to pain - I'm a pansy really (I stood up in the middle of bottom half squats last night in Pump, it hurt *cry baby*). So the only answer that really makes sense is muscle memory - my body knows it's done this before, and it knows it can do it again.

Along a similar line of thought - my body seems to adapt to certain exercise really fast, which is kind of annoying. I've got my HRM back out of the cupboard, and in part I can see why I stopped using it to start with. The stupid thing flashes a heart rate of 00 at random intervals, which is particularly annoying and stops me focussing on what I'm supposed to be doing. It might be time for a new one. Do I go Polar again, or do I go Garmin? Advice gratefully accepted! Anyway, it seemed to be working fine in Pump last night, I didn't see any 00 readings. But I burnt about 220 stupid calories in 55 minutes. My heart rate is low, particularly if I'm laying down. So laying down with the chest and tricep tracks, despite lifting weights and feeling the burn, my heart rate was about 60. My max heart rate for the session was 130, even with squats etc. Now the realist in me knows that I don't do pump for the calorie burn, I do it for strength and muscle conditioning. But I find it damn annoying seeing that little calorie number at the end of a tough workout. Hmph.

Just quickly before I sign off and find somewhere else to waste my time - weights for pump last night: 10lb warmup, lunges and shoulders; 15lb chest, bicep, tricep; 20lb squats and back. An increase for a few tracks.

Monday, October 4, 2010

10k, 10k, 10k!!!

Sit back, relax and prepare yourselves, this could be a long update :)

1st things 1st (which is completely out of order for the weekend round up, but it's foremost in my mind for now)... I mapped out a 10k route... 10.35km to be precise... and did it today! I walked one hill in the middle-end section, but in total that was only about 200m of walking in a 10.35km circuit. And it was hilly too - 107m ascent and descent according to buckeye outdoor. The pace was slow (1:14:30 to complete), but I'm freaking proud of myself for making it, and for taking on all but one of the big hills. I have come a seriously long way in the space of a few weeks, and I look forward to more improvements to come.

OK, now a retrospective of the long weekend gone by. Not really sure what I did on Friday night, not much I suspect. Oh, I made a chicken rose pasta sauce. It was pretty good, but not fabulous. More attempts required to perfect it. Philadelphia cooking cream is a marvelous invention though, it's making creamy sauces possible calorie-wise again.

As for Saturday - I slept in til 9 or so (well I was awake, but tooling around on the net in bed). Then I got up and had to hurry through a few things before heading to the gym at 10. Even in the space of a week I could see the improvement in fitness - last week I had intended to do step followed by pump, but died toward the end of step and just could not face staying for the second class. This week I certainly felt the work involved in step, but was quite comfortable staying for pump as well. The squats track is still killing me ATM, but I'll toughen up in time.

Actually, now I think of it, I wanted to record my current (embarrassingly puny) weights that I'm using for each track, so I can see the changes over time. Here they are:
  • Warm up, bicep, tricep, shoulders, lunges - 10lb
  • Chest, back - 15lb
  • Squats - 20lb

On Saturday afternoon I went grocery shopping and spent some time cleaning, tidying and washing - exciting stuff. I also had a minor incident with a packet of sultanas, evil things. They're now packed in the bottom of a big tub in the pantry so I have to go hunting to find them next time I'm on the path to going crazy.

Sunday morning started at 6 for the markets, it was beautiful (i.e. not freezing) for the first time in recent memory. Then we came back to my place for scrambled eggs and good coffee for breakfast, then headed for mum's. I played with the puppies for half hour, then we ventured out on our shopping adventures. First stop Ikea, where I managed to spend $50 despite not planning on buying anything, duh. Next it was to Freedom for the awesome cannisters I wanted for my pantry - $150 later, but they rock, and the pantry is looking much more organised for them. Next a quick dash across town to the Plaza, for our massage appointments. I had a neck, shoulder and back massage, which bloody hurt, but was much needed. I didn't realise how impacted my lower back had gotten. Lunch (from a little Asian cafe that makes great sandwiches), more shopping, and another trip to another shopping centre, finally calling it a day as the shops were shutting. Man we can shop when we're on a mission.

Back at mum's place, I took the dogs out for a longish walk. Bazil the pug has been officially put on a diet by the vet - he weighed in at 15.7kg last week! He has a small growth on his tail which may need removing at some future time if it continues to grow, but he's currently too overweight to have an anaesthetic. So, his food has been reduced by a third, and exercise is on the agenda. He walked about 2km before giving up the ghost (which is actually a really good effort for him), so I bundled him into the dog pram, and Kali and I kept going for another 2km or so. They were both exhausted after that, definitely good for all of us. Last up was roast pork for dinner (delicious), then off home.

This brings me to holiday Monday. I had planned to do my run first thing in the morning, but I couldn't face it this morning. In fact I tried to talk myself out of it all day, but I'm SO happy I eventually did it. Other than that, I did some cooking, cleaned out the pantry, did some gardening and weeding, painted the bird bath and painted the graffiti off my shed. Busy day!

I'd really rather not be going back to work tomorrow, there was some extra stuff I wanted to get done around the house this weekend, but such is life. Time for some goals:

  1. Finish the big project at work (spectacularly failed at that last week, ahem)
  2. Eat at 1500
  3. 2 runs and 2 gym sessions
  4. Take my dad out on the weekend
  5. Clean out the junk drawer and the t-shirt drawer

Have a great week everyone!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Lots happening

I haven't updated for a couple of days, but it's not through having nothing to report. Exciting news first - I'm booked to go on a cruise on 13 May 2011, hooray! I've been on a cruise before, back in 2008, and I loved it like nothing else I've ever done in life. I actually had a massive struggle to readjust to life on land after we came back - there was something about seeing lots of different places but coming back to the same room every night that made it feel like a lifestyle, and this was my new home. Alas all good things must come to an end.

However, we're going again! Last trip was longer, and went around SE Asia. This cruise is a 12 day South Pacific adventure, departing Sydney, 3 days pure cruising, 3 ports in New Caledonia, 3 ports in Vanuatu, 2 days cruising, and back into Sydney. I have always wanted to see crystal clear water, where you can see to the bottom and see fish swimming around in it and stuff. This is going to be just the place to do it.

Now what does all this have to do with a diet and exercise blog I hear you ask? Well everything as it turns out. Last time I was on a cruise, I weighed 71.8kg and felt fab. I don't really care if I weigh the same as that this time, but I want to be the same size and fit back into all those beautiful dresses I had for the dining room. I also want to be as fit as I was then. Now running on a treadmill on a rocky sea is not necessarily the easiest thing in the world, let me tell you, but it can be done. On one trip to the gym, I ran 4 miles on the treadmill while rocking away. It's an awesome workout because you've got so much extra to do to keep balanced, great for the core muscles. I want to be able to do that again!

So in giving this lots of thought, I was wondering if I have enough time to get into the same shape as I was last cruise. The only way to figure this out was to take a massive plunge and do 2 things I didn't want to do: get on the scales, and log back into my old Calorie King profile and see what the timeframe was like last time around. The scales part sucked, coming in at 95.3kg. Blah. The CK part wasn't as hard as I thought, in the past I've found it hard to look at all these check ins in the 70's and 60's and not feel depressed. But now I have a goal in mind, it was just a really informative trip down memory lane. And the good news is that it can be done!

On 27 September 2007, I weighed in at 99kg. On 14 May 2008, I weighed 71.8kg - 27.2kg down in 7 1/2 months. So here we are at 1 October 2010, needing to lose 20-25kg in 7 1/2 months (I say 20 - 25kg, because I want to retain muscle mass and appropriate hydration, last time round I started to do some pretty stupid stuff just to see a better number on a scale, I'm a little older and wiser these days).

How are we going to do it? Duh, diet and exercise :o) The diet is cruising along pretty well at the moment, so it's just a matter of keeping that up. The exercise could do with a jolt, so that will be the focus of the planning for now. I got up and went for a run this morning, even though I really really didn't feel like it, so that's a good start. It was 5.5km including a 750m walk at the beginning (up a big mofo hill, if I ran up that I'd be too dead to go any further). It was pretty tough going in sections, but overall I can definitely see improvements. I was running at about 9.5km/hour too, so the pace is also picking up.

On the back of some encouragement from Jess (thanks!) I'm going to enter some fun runs. The 10k Glenelg Classic is on 14 November, the 10k Christmas Frolic on 12 December, and the 7k Resolution Run on 9 January. I think I'll enter all of those. I can't do 10k right now, and I might not be able to by 14 November either, but there's only one way to find out. I haven't been able to find a schedule of fun runs for 2011 anywhere yet, I'll have to keep hunting and see what else I can book in.

There are going to be 2 mega obstacles in my training and weight loss plans between now and May 2011. First of all is a trip to Bali between 19-29 November - in the past this has been a diet disaster, but mainly because I used it as a binge fest. I'd be buying massive chocolate bars from all the convenience stores and wolfing them down at every opportunity. At least that won't be happening this time, seeing as I can't do chocolate any more. But we're staying at Febri's, which is just across the road from Discovery, which contains the best bakery in the world. The blueberry bread at Bread Talk is to die for. I'll just have to roll with that and try not to overdo it, but there's no way I'm going without altogether.

The second obstacle is, of course, Christmas. Again without the chocolates, things will be improved, but I'm bound to eat too much. Hey, we have pancakes for breakfast, it's tradition (and my sister in law is pregnant, so she's not going to care about calories this year, damn it). Oh well, if Christmas day itself is stupid, I'll just have to live with that. If I can avoid a damaging lead up and craziness with left overs, it should be ok. Fortunately I'm not a drinker (except when in Darwin, but then there's nothing else to do up there...), so calories are saved on that front.

I'm feeling so freaking happy right now it's insane. I've got my mojo back, and I've got heaps to look forward to. Awesome!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


I read a blog yesterday afternoon (while avoiding doing the big project that I really just can’t be arsed with, but that’s another story) which has really resonated with me. Lyn over at Escape from Obesity is talking about when she stopped caring about herself as a person, and how that translated into her battle with her weight. There is just so much truth in this connection in my experience too, that I can’t stop going over and over it in my mind.

I haven’t spoken a lot about “my journey” in this blog, mainly because I’ve been trying to block it out for fear that thinking about it will bring back the binge demons. As time goes on, though, I’m gaining confidence that I have defeated that particular monster. Anyway, my background – I was an overweight child, an overweight teenager, and an overweight adult, all to varying degrees. I was a gymnast (well a trampolinist to be precise) from the time I was about 8 until about 16, so that kept the weight slightly in check, although I was very very large compared to the typical skinny minnies you find in gymnastics circles. When I quit the big training program, and kept eating like an elephant, I sort of became an elephant. I think I maxed out at about 120kg when I was 19 or so (at 165cm, not the best look). I got down into the mid-90's through my early twenties, rebounding up and down somewhat.

And then about 3 years ago, I made a big resolution, and really stuck to it. I went from 102kg to 67kg in the space of about a year. I exercised like a crazy person. My calorie intake was at a healthy level, but it was full of processed crap - because the processed crap had calories labelled and I could measure the intake. I lost the weight in an unrealistic and unsustainable way. My whole focus in life was on diet and exercise, I cut off connections with a lot of friends and family and lived within myself. I also thought about food every waking hour, which is enough to drive anyone to distraction.

While life was going along without too many major speed bumps, it all fitted in ok. But next to come were some major speed bumps - my dad (who I lived with at the time) developing Alzheimers, my mum falling into depression, me having a car accident, and having a big bust up at work and moving to a new department. This was a lot to deal with, and my completely useless flipping brother did nothing to help, so everything sort of rested with me for a while. Somewhere along the line, this translated into quitting the exercise, binge eating on anything likely to gain maximum weight in minimum time, and just giving up on myself.

I guess I didn't realise just how much I had given up on myself, given up on life, until I sat and reflected on it after reading Lyn's blog. I was going through the motions, and as always keeping myself pretty guarded, so general acquaintances would never have seen the state I was in. Truth be known, I don't think even my closest loved ones knew how low I was. It's all the little things that add up to just not looking after yourself - I stopped using face creams, stopped moisturising, some days even a shower was an effort. I stopped experimental cooking, stopped going to movies. Getting out of bed was a daily grind, and doing anything other than flopping on the couch after work was a miracle.

Well this is depressing. But what is not depressing, is that I have come through it, I have survived, and I am a stronger person for it. I don't know what has snapped into place, or why, but I am certainly glad it has. I have a will to live, a will to improve myself, a will to find joy in the little things. Yes I still have challenges to face, we all do. Dad still has Alzheimers, and naturally it's getting worse. I'm still living with it, but I'm not grieving it. We've all learned to cope better with what we've got to work with, and life is going on. I'm going to make the best of it.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Things I have learnt today

  1. Never bring home a barbecued chicken when you're famished. It smells and tastes way too good.
  2. A step class from 2 days ago can have a real lasting impact on your calf muscles.
  3. Deep heat is a friend to my calf muscles.
  4. Shoes with heels are not a friend to my calf muscles.
  5. The calf muscles ease up when they get warm, or when your attention is distracted by other pain. You know, like when you can't breathe running up a hill. Suck it up and work through it.

As you may have gathered, I've eaten too much tonight. However, I went for a run this morning (and increased the pace and distance - 4.5km at an average 9.2km/h, so that was great. I also went to a cardio box class tonight. It was the first time it was offered on the program, so there was a lot of technique and introductory stuff, but it was still a big workout. I wouldn't say that I loved it, the instructor is a bit of a bitch, but I'll give it another go before I write it off.

I had a really crap day at work, not that anything went wrong, just that I didn't really do anything. I have seriously got to find my work mojo, stuff is piling up around my ears. Here's to getting in to that damn big project tomorrow.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Another weekend gone

How do these weekends keep slipping by so fast? I'm sorry this one is gone, but there are two things keeping me chipper this Sunday evening.

One, the boss is away this week, and will not be ringing - he's doing an 800km bike ride from Adelaide to Geelong. I wish him well for the big ride (especially as it is for a charitable cause, in memory of a friend who passed away from leukaemia a week or so ago), but I'm also REALLY happy he won't be on the phone this week. We get on well, but I'm ready for a week's trial separation. He can be quite demanding, and having some time to get stuck into a big project without side projects from him is something I am very much looking forward to.

Two, next weekend is a long weekend, the first one since June and I am hanging out for it. I am 150% sure that I'm not working this long weekend, not even a little log in from home for a couple of hours like I usually do. I need the break, and damn it I'm taking it.

So, anyway, I'm in quite high spirits this evening. The weekend has been a good one all round really. On Friday night I went for a run from the office (seeing as I failed to drag my butt out of bed in the morning). It was an awesome run - I had forgotten how rewarding it is to run on relatively flat terrain, compared to the killer hills around my house. I covered 5.75km or thereabouts, and didn't need to stop to walk at all. It wasn't a very fast pace, about 8.6km/h, but I felt great that I could cover that distance, so the speed will return in time.

After the run and a bit of recovery, I headed for home, had something quick for dinner (I think it was a vegemite sandwich of all things... perhaps I need to revisit "balanced diet 101" and "refueling the body with protein". But I was hungry and it was quick. Meh.) I then got stuck into my baking. I love to bake, and I haven't done any for a month or more, so I've missed it. It was a bit of a test for me, because I usually spend as much time eating the ingredients and various batters as I do cooking. I won't say that I didn't eat any of the raw materials, I probably downed 500 calories odd, but I certainly didn't binge out, and I didn't eat any of the final products. I'm proud as can be - something has finally snapped into place in my stupid head, and I'm over the binging. Weird (but awesome).

On Saturday I got up a little later than planned, but made it to the gym for the step class. I love step, I'm not massively coordinated (but not completely unco either), so I have to concentrate to follow and remember the moves. This is great for me, because then I focus on something other than the pain in my legs or how much I'm struggling to breathe. It was a good class, and I hope I can fit it in semi regularly. I didn't stay for body bar, because I was buggered, and I didn't want my legs to pull up so sore that it put me off schedule for the week ahead. Small steps.

After a quick call into the supermarket, I returned home and continued the baking feast while watching the drawn grand final. Very little taste testing today too (except for a damn cheesecake I made, it was devine. I had 3 spoonsful and then gave myself a stern talking to, put it in the fridge and didn't touch it again). All up, I made a dozen melting moments, 2 dozen triple chocolate cookies, 2 dozen neiman marcus cookies, 15 cinnamon and sultana muffins, and 14 miniature cheesecakes. I knew it had been too long since I baked, I wanted to make everything! The good news is the whole lot has now been delivered to willing recipients - a lot of it to mum and dad's, and the rest to my friend Lou and her family.

On Saturday night I went out to dinner and watched a movie with my best mate Lou. She's been really sick for several months with glandular fever and other nasty viral things, but she appears to be coming through the worst of it now. I haven't seen much of her while she's been sick as her main pastime has been sleeping, and she hasn't been up to visitors. It was brilliant to see her again, and I realised how much I've missed her. I like to be a hermit at times, but it's great to have friends who know you inside out too. We met at school when we were 9 years old, went right through high school together, then went to uni together too. I half lived at her place in uni holidays, we were pretty much inseparable. So yeah, good times. I had lasagne at the cafe where we had dinner - possibly not the best choice, but not a tragedy. I had the calories saved, so all is well.

Sunday saw me up bright and sparky at 6am, ready for mum to pick me up at 6.15 and head to the markets. I was pretty bleary eyed after getting home after midnight, but it's a good way to start the day nonetheless. We were there for ages today, lots of trash and treasure stalls to look through, and we got some cute stuff for my niece Lara. We got our lovely fresh vegetables, then retired to my place for coffee and scrambled eggs. Mum left about 10.30, and I got on with some chores around the house, made my lunches for the week, made a stir fry for a couple of dinners (which came in at a beatifully low calorie count I might add), and stewed some apples for a sweet treat or two.

Late in the arvo I went round to mum's place, and took those stinky dogs for a bath, it was finally warm enough to wash them. Kali was very badly behaved and barked at other dogs, and also scared the crap out of someone when she lunged wildly at them walking past with their staffy. Kali is a massive black German Shepherd, so she looks pretty scary. She actually wants to lick the dogs she's barking at, but from the dog owner's view I'm sure it looks like she wants to eat them. Very embarrassing, I think we'll need to get Bark Busters back for a refresher course. Bazil the Pug was not at all amused by the bath, but there's only so much fuss a dog that size can kick up (thankfully). They smell much much better now, but the hair they are dropping everywhere is insane. Glad it's not in my house! I stayed on for dinner at mum's (roast pork, delicious), then made my way home.

So here we go with the goals for the week ahead:
  1. Make some major progress on my big work project
  2. Eat at 1500 calories, give or take
  3. Stick to the exercise plan - 3 runs, 1 circuit, 1 boxing class, 1 body bar class, and anything that else that fits in with the weekly regime
  4. Do a small housework job every night after work/gym so I don't have to waste the long weekend cleaning the house
  5. 7 hours sleep a night

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Deep and meaningful

It's time to get all deep and meaningful for a Friday lunch time.

I'm lacking a real sense of direction and set of distinct goals at the moment, and I feel like I'm drifting in a pool of "maybe's". I know for sure that I want to lose weight and get fit. Everything else is in maybe-town.

Maybe I'd like to get into running, run a 10km fun run, run the city-bay next year, run a half marathon next year.

Maybe I'd like to get into triathlons.

Maybe I'd like to get into distance cycling.

Maybe I'd like to fly to the moon.

The trouble with all of these options is that they require planning and dedication and commitment. By flitting about trying to do a bit of everything, I'm not going to be able to give it what it takes.

I've also just been reading some blogs of other people who have defined goals in distance running and triathlon, and I realise just how unprepared I am to take up that challenge myself at the moment.

I know how to eat to lose weight, and I know how to train to get generically "fit" - I've done that before. But I have absolutely no idea how to eat and train specifically for performance in a particular field. I will need help with that, and help costs money. I will be prepared to pay for it, but not until I'm completely convinced that I've chosen a direction and I'm working towards a defined goal.

And so my conclusion is thus... this journey is going to be a staged process. Stage 1 is to lose a pile of weight, with no specific endurance training goal in mind. Whatever my chosen path, I'm going to need to be a whole lot lighter and a whole lot fitter than I am right now.

I don't care so much about my weight as a number - I don't currently know how much I weigh, and frankly I don't want to know. The scales make me crazy and obsessive and often self destructive. I want to be a fit and toned size 12 again. I got down to a 10 a couple of years ago, but I looked awful, drawn in the face and the bones of my chest visible (despite still having a pot belly and chunky thighs, grr).

I'm going to get lighter and fitter by trying a bit of everything. I will do cardio and weights side by side, and make sure I don't lose muscle along with the flab. I'm not sticking just to running for cardio - I'm going to do step classes, and boxing classes, and I might try to get into a routine of cycling to work once a week again too. On the weights side of things, I'll mix up the classes and try some body bar, some circuits, and whatever else floats my boat.

This won't be a rapid process, it never is. By the time I'm a lighter, fitter version of my current self, chances are that I will have a better idea about what type of exercise I'd like to focus on next.

Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a plan. I feel better now :)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


I didn't get to do my blog update last night, and it will have to be a quick one this morning, because I have a crap load of work to get through today.

I went to mum's place for dinner last night, but it was a bit drama filled. My aunty was there, and told us the sad news that my cousin was in hospital suffering a suspected miscarriage. We waited for ages for any news, and eventually got something that falls into neither the good news nor bad news category I guess - she did indeed have a miscarriage, but she was carrying twins. One twin has survived and looks healthy and normal. The doctors even told her that she can go on her planned trip to Melbourne tomorrow for the grand final. It's hard to know how to feel about it - it's sad that one of the babies died, but it's wonderful that there is still a baby to come (and they didn't know it was twins anyway).

On my own personal front, I didn't make it to the gym this morning, my legs and butt are not up to it yet. I got up early and did some stretching to hopefully ease it off a little, and with any luck I'll be able to sneak out for a walk at lunch time and loosen things up a bit. I've been thinking about whether I'll do some exercise tonight to make up for this morning, but on the whole I think not. If I tighten up the legs again, it will just stop me going for a run tomorrow morning. And anyway, I've got some other stuff to do tonight at home, given the weekend is starting to fill up again already.

The food front is still going strong. I felt like I ate a lot last night, but I still came in at 1500 calories for the day amazingly. Eliminating the chocolate from my diet has made it so much easier to control the calorie intake, it's amazing (OK well maybe it's not amazing to sane people, but it's been a revelation for me).

I am putting myself through endurance testing at the moment though - I collected various baking goods from mum's place last night. I buy up my chocolate chips and cooking chocolate etc, then I take it to mum's for safe keeping, so I can't eat it! I'm visiting a friend who has been quite unwell on Saturday night, and I've promised to take some baked goodies with me. And my dad has put in a request for cookies and cake. All the ingredients were on the bench in my house last night, and I wasn't remotely tempted to touch them (although I did get home pretty late, but still...) Tonight will be a new test, because I'll be home for longer before I go to bed. The massive test will be on Friday night or Saturday afternoon when I get baking. I LOVE to bake, but I also love to stick my fingers in what I'm baking. I need some strategies to minimise the damage - suggestions anyone??

Right-o, time to get into it.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Not much happening

Sometimes I think my life must look like groundhog day to the general observer. Today would have appeared to be such a duplicate of the day before that it would be indistinguishable from an outside perspective.

Up early, get in some exercise, go to work for 10 or 11 hours, head to the gym, go home and reheat some food - exact same meal as the previous evening. Then get on the internet, watch TV and eat food all at the same time (I have issues with not being uber-entertained). When you put it like that, it even sounds repetitive to me.

But I like to focus on the small differences. For example, my exercise was different - a run and an orbit class on Monday, a circuit class and a pump class on Tuesday. While I sit at the same desk in my same old office every day, the stuff I do each day is very rarely the same. Yes, it is predominantly accountant-geek work, but it differs a lot in the detail. There are days when I hate my job because of its competing priorities and the need to keep 10 balls in the air at once (while answering 50 questions for staff who could probably figure it out for themselves), but these are also the very reasons that I mostly love my job.

I probably haven't spoken much about my job on here yet. About 70% of my time is dedicated to a financial controller position for a group of hotels in Darwin. Heaps of variety comes through this channel alone - the hotels in the group include some bars, a nightclub and a motel, so they all have their own idiosyncracies and special requirements. Dealing with folk from Darwin has also been a big learning curve, business is just done differently above the Tropic of Capricorn, and we have to learn to accept it. Nothing gets done with much urgency, and all important decisions are made over a beer in the bar. The other 30% of my work is in tax and business services for a small business and individual client base. This was what I used to do full time, and I was completely over it, but I now really enjoy having a small amount of this type of work still in my life.

Hmm, I've been a bit grumpy with my work life lately, but writing it out like that makes me realise that I do still love it. Time to stop getting bogged down in the detail and look at the bigger picture I think.

Right, time to finish off with a goal review for the week to date:
  • Exercise - on schedule, got my circuit and pump classes in this morning and this evening respectively. I took it fairly easy on the weights in pump, while I figure out where my strength and endurance is currently at. As a result, the bicep, tricep and squat tracks were easier than they should have been, and I know I'll need to increase next time. The shoulders and chest tracks hurt (a lot), and my legs were already sore from previous sessions, so I think I'm going to be mildly crippled tomorrow. I'm looking forward to that rest day.
  • Diet - exactly the same as yesterday (well, I did have a different flavoured yoghurt lol). I'm eating at mum's tomorrow, so the calories will be higher for dinner, I think she's doing turkey casserole.
  • Focus at work - much better today, and actually got a few things finished.
  • Sleep - 7 hours again last night
  • Internet usage - still disturbingly high. I don't think blogging is helping with that lol.

Until tomorrow...

Monday, September 20, 2010

Goal check

Well here I am, reporting on progress to date on the weekly plan.

Exercise - success. I went for a run this morning, despite spending a good 10 minutes trying to talk myself out of it. I took a 4km route I've done a couple of times in recent weeks, and I can really see the improvements I've made already, which is very encouraging. I'm running at almost 9km/hour (including some quite unfriendly hills), and managed to run the whole way without dying. Tonight I went to the gym and sat on a bike for 15 minutes, then joined the ''orbit'' class. This is a swiss ball based toning class, which I thought would be pretty easy. Um, no. I suspect the rest of my weekly exercise plans will be in danger come tomorrow morning when I'm unable to walk. Lots of squats and lunges (which incidentally is exactly why I have to do classes and not freestyle it myself either at the gym or at home. I'll use a leg press machine and whatever, but I will NEVER do squats and lunges unless I'm forced to do them in a class. And I know they're good for me... but they hurt!!)

Food intake - not terrible, but could be better. I can't believe I'm berating myself for under-eating, this is an all time first for me. I've eaten all really good, nutritious food, but only 1,300 calories, which is really a bit light on with 1 1/2 hours of exercise. As I've said before, my head is broken when it comes to food, and being a recovering binge-eater makes me hesitant to push more food in when I'm not really hungry. I could certainly eat more, I don't doubt that, but I don't feel that I need it especially. I am theorising that my appetite will really pick up once I'm doing a lot more regular exercise, so I think I'll roll with it for now, and make a conscious effort to increase the intake if I'm struggling for energy later in the week.

When I come to think about it, I guess my intake is low mainly because I'm not factoring in "treats" much these days, so perhaps it's not so bad after all - that crap doesn't fuel the body anyway. There are duel reasons for the lack of treats in my diet at this stage. #1, I've developed an allergy to chocolate. Sob. It gives me a gross rash all over my body. #2, it's the treat foods that have been mostly responsible for binge eating behaviour in recent times (you know the drill, bake a batch of muffins then eat them all...) At the moment I'm coping quite well without the treats in my daily intake - if I don't start on the rubbish, I can't get stuck in a binge-spiral. I'm not naïve enough to think this is sustainable for all eternity, and if I'm out with people or I particularly want something, I'll have it. But for now, I'll have to make sure that's in public, so I can't eat a whole cake instead of just a slice, or whatever it may be.

Focus at work - ahem. Next topic.

Sleep - I got a good 7 hours in last night, but if I don't stop blogging, tonight's not going to be so good. Goodnight all!