Musings of a maniac

I've just got thoughts buzzing around in my head randomly at the moment, so I thought I'd spit them all out here. Probably not logically or with any consistent flow, but blogs are like that sometimes.

Firstly, I'm an idiot. A down right fool. If I was on CK and saw someone complaining that they're not using their calories, or wondering if it was OK to not eat their calorie limit, I'd grumble to myself about how annoying it is. Yet here I am doing exactly the same thing. It's times like this that make me realise just how much of a head game weight loss is.

So I sit at my desk half the day thinking I'd like something extra to eat, but then convincing myself that I don't need it. Great for the concentration while working on some pretty complex accounts, I might add. I'm just terrified of eating too much earlier in the day and running out of calories at night. But then I want to get out of the habit of eating after dinner. Can't have it both ways, dumbo. Seriously, this is not brain surgery, the logical person in me can see the answers right in front of my face. But can I take my own advice? Not often. I seriously need to work on this.

Now, about the aftermath of my 10k on Monday. I'm thinking I probably shouldn't have done so much so soon, but it's done now, and it does make me want to do more - running is like that. I hate taking off for a run, and I don't much like it while I'm doing it most of the time, but I LOVE the feeling afterwards. It's such an achievement. But should a 25kg overweight person who is 3 weeks back into a fitness regime be going out running 10k on the pavement? Well my knees, ankles, hips and lower back are suggesting perhaps not.

I was reading something the other day (I can't remember where off hand...) about the power of muscle memory, and how people returning to exercise can have much more rapid results than those doing it the first time. The article was talking more about weight bearing exercise and body building, but I think this must apply to running, and probably other cardio based exercise, as well. I doubt whether many people at my current weight and in my current level of conditioning (i.e. very poor) could have pushed on for a 10k run, particularly in the hilly sections. I'm certain I didn't do so much so soon when I was first getting fit a few years ago. It's not because I'm so tough now, or so immune to pain - I'm a pansy really (I stood up in the middle of bottom half squats last night in Pump, it hurt *cry baby*). So the only answer that really makes sense is muscle memory - my body knows it's done this before, and it knows it can do it again.

Along a similar line of thought - my body seems to adapt to certain exercise really fast, which is kind of annoying. I've got my HRM back out of the cupboard, and in part I can see why I stopped using it to start with. The stupid thing flashes a heart rate of 00 at random intervals, which is particularly annoying and stops me focussing on what I'm supposed to be doing. It might be time for a new one. Do I go Polar again, or do I go Garmin? Advice gratefully accepted! Anyway, it seemed to be working fine in Pump last night, I didn't see any 00 readings. But I burnt about 220 stupid calories in 55 minutes. My heart rate is low, particularly if I'm laying down. So laying down with the chest and tricep tracks, despite lifting weights and feeling the burn, my heart rate was about 60. My max heart rate for the session was 130, even with squats etc. Now the realist in me knows that I don't do pump for the calorie burn, I do it for strength and muscle conditioning. But I find it damn annoying seeing that little calorie number at the end of a tough workout. Hmph.

Just quickly before I sign off and find somewhere else to waste my time - weights for pump last night: 10lb warmup, lunges and shoulders; 15lb chest, bicep, tricep; 20lb squats and back. An increase for a few tracks.