Quick update

I've been AWOL for a while, but all is well. I've just been uber-busy at work. When you work in a small office and someone is on extended sick leave... well, life gets hard. But I love the work, so I'm not complaining TOO much. A little less volume would be nice, but on the whole life is good.

In the non-working world, all has been going pretty well too. My running is coming along, although I am struggling a bit. Every run seems tough at the moment, so I think I've lost my rhythm a bit. I just need to keep plugging away at it and find my happy place again. Stats since I last checked in:

Saturday - 50 mins, 7.6km, avg pace 9.1km/hour. A fairly hilly course and I was smashed by the end of it. Long run day increases to an hour this Saturday, so I'm hoping it feels better.

Monday - speed work. 30 seconds @ 15km/hour, 1 minute standing recovery, 10 repeats. Speed work gets me every time, 30 seconds sounds like nothing but by the time I'm half way through the repeats I'm wondering if I might need to spew. Not good in any situation, but especially not in the gym. I survived with no such incidents though, thankfully.

Thursday - 30 mins, 4.6km, avg pace 9.4km/hour. My legs were a bit tight and fatigued from some strength work earlier in the week, and the last km of this run was torturous. Having said that, the first km was the slowest - it is all uphill, but only gradual inclines. I probably needed more of a warm up this morning, given the sore legs and cool atmosphere.

Outside of the running, I've bitten the bullet and joined the good gym. I've messed around with some cheaper ones in the last year or so, but it just doesn't work for me. The class timetables suck and the equipment isn't well maintained - there's a reason they're cheap. So I've joined at Goodlife, goodbye $910, but I did get away with no joining fee, no admin fee and a bonus month free. Still not cheap, but on the whole I don't think I did too badly. The gym has just been renovated, all the equipment is new and the group fitness timetable is pretty extensive. I've been for my initial trainer session and got a strength program written for me. They update these for you free of charge every 3 months. I'll give it a go, but I can't see myself sticking to it - there's stuff in there that I just know I won't do. For example, I HATE wall sits. Like, really hate them. I told her that, but she put them in anyway. They might be good for you, but I'm certain there are other exercises she could have substituted, given my views on this. I'll just change it around myself.

Casie - yes I do have some pics of the kittens, but I haven't uploaded them yet. I'll try to get to it on the weekend, I normally update my blog at work :)

Yay, and grr

First of all, yay. I won the give away on Jess' blog last week. And yesterday I rocked into work in the middle of the day after a couple of painful meetings with idiots, and what should await me but this:

How freakin' exciting is that! This little stash is going to hold me in good stead over the next 13 weeks of HM training. Jess also addressed the envelope to Megan (aka Whatalegend), which gave me and the new receptionist quite a little giggle too.

Secondly, another yay. Thank you Kylie for pointing me in the direction of Google Chrome for blogger. I have been cracking it at blogger using IE for a good while now, and Chrome seems to be working great.

And now, grr. I went out for my run this morning, which was 1km intervals with 30 second walks between km (well according to the program it's supposed to be 5 x 5 minutes running with 30 second recovery walk, but given it's pitch black and I can't see my Garmin, it's easier to just do 4 x 1km). I started out brilliantly and ran the fastest km I've done in some time... 5:47. It helps that it trends downhill and it was freezing so I was trying to warm up, but nevertheless, 5:47 it was. Anyway, I digress. I then did my 30 second walk, then hit what I thought was the lap button on the Garmin to start my next run interval... but it was the pause button. Damn it. I thought the km seemed to be going for a while, peered at the watch in the dark to see where I was up to, and found out I wasn't going anywhere at all. I had a 30 second walk, then pressed the right button for the next km (6:14 on a gentle incline, not too bad). Then for the last km, coming up the bigger hills... I pressed the damn pause button instead of lap AGAIN. I have no idea what time I did on km 2 and 4, which is bloody annoying. Km 2 felt good, km 4 felt hard - but then it was uphill, and I had gone out pretty hard.

Despite my technological deficiencies, I'm happy to have another run under the belt. Kylie, we might need to keep up this text messaging at 6am for my whole training calendar, I was really not keen on getting out of bed this morning, and you made all the difference!

On the non-running front, what else is going on? I went to the gym and did a step class for the first time in months on Tuesday. I love step. My calves are certainly feeling it now though (although interestingly they didn't bother me while I was running). I'm planning on doing pump tonight, although I might bail and go shopping for the kittens instead, they're coming home in 2 days :) Work is still rolling along. I have lots to do and very little motivation, which is not a good combination. But I'm working on it. And last but not least, tomorrow night I'm going to see Harry Potter 8. Can't freaking wait, I'm such a Harry Potter geek.

Until next time...

After a very long absence...

I'm back, at very long last. It's been a while... a very long while. As anyone who has followed my blogging attempts in the past may know, when I go blog-AWOL, it's not a good sign - it usually means I've fallen fair and square off the wagon, started eating like a demon and being slothful on the exercise front. This time is no different really, except that it hasn't gone on as long as previous bouts, thankfully.

But I'm back into it now. I hadn't done any exercise since getting back from holidays until yesterday, but I went to step last night, and I rode my bike to work today. I just stood up to grab something from the other side of the room, and discovered that my legs have siezed up. Crap, looks like the ride home will be interesting. But that aside, I felt SO much better once I'd done step last night. I tried really really hard to talk myself out of going, but once I was in there I enjoyed every minute of it (it was a different instructor, and she was awesome, hope she sticks around). This is the problem with exercise, it's the getting started that's the problem, not the doing. And the longer I leave it, the more sloth-inclined I become. No more I say!

On the D&M side of things, I really need to work through what put me in my food and slothfulness funk this time around. On the whole, I think it was just me trying to eat my stress and emotions - nothing new there. Why I keep falling back to that counter-productive activity is beyond me, but I do it time and time again. Life has gotten on top of me, and I've bitten back by trying to eat it. WTF?

Now, the sources of the stresses, where do I start? In Bali I guess. There were some definite good points to the holiday - some good shopping, lots of good massages, and some much needed time away from the office. There were also some bad points - my Dad is incredibly hard work these days. Alzheimers is a bastard of an illness, and I don't think anyone can really appreciate just how difficult it is to deal with someone with that disease unless they've actually lived through it. If the person you were dealing with was a child (and a lot of the time they do behave exactly like naughty children), you could punish them to bring them into line. What the hell do you do with a 6'2" 110kg "child"? Get incredibly frustrated and wound up, that's what.

So that part of the trip was tough. The other thing from the Bali trip which has given me cause for stress since my return is actually a guy - who would have thought! Ketut is someone who I met in Bali a couple of trips back, and we've kept in contact through Facebook and text messages off and on over the last couple of years. He is completely not the sort of person I would have chosen for myself... and yet I really feel something for him. I expected to go there this time and see him, and have it feel like just a friend, the same as quite a few others I have gotten to know in my many trips. But it feels like something more. I didn't get to see a lot of him this trip, with my dad being demanding as he is and mum not coping well, but what I did see of him was great. I've been kinda depressed about it since getting back, trying to figure out what to do, whether to trust it or not etc etc etc. The problem with people from Bali (in a broad sweeping generalisation) is that they know how to flatter those from the western world to get what they want. I'm usually pretty good at seeing through that kind of thing, but everyone has their weaknesses, you know? So I don't know how Ketut sees me... as a partner, as a friend who flirts, or a ticket to a visa and a better life. How the hell do you really know? I guess I haven't really finished working through the options, but I'm leaning towards doing nothing with it at this stage. My life is already too complicated without adding a MASSIVE complication like this. But it is a shame.

What else is going on? Well, Christmas is going on. On the whole, I love Christmas, but it is becoming a major headache these days. It's always hectic, but my mother has had a mini meltdown this year (and last year, when I come to think of it), and that leaves me to pick up the pieces. I don't blame her at all, her life with my dad is monumentally sucky these days. I do, however, blame my selfish, useless, good-for-nothing brother, who does jack sh*t to help anyone other than himself. While I spent 17 hours on Saturday (yes, 17 hours... left home at 8am and got home at 1am) running around to make mum's life easier - doing Christmas shopping, putting up their Christmas decorations, wrapping a pile of presents for her - he can't even get his sorry ass around to help with a single thing. My mum is really self sufficient for her age, but I seriously don't think she should be getting on the roof to clean the gutters while the place is flooding. But she does it, because useless-brother "doesn't have time" to help. Then he sends me a text to ask if I've bought mum and dad's presents for him to give them. No I f*ing haven't, and no I'm not going to, you lazy prick. OK, sorry about that, really needed to get that off my chest.

In other news I've been sick. Not super duper sick, but I've got a cold which refuses to die. Probably because I've been eating crap and not exercising, and generally a bit run down. I've used it as a great excuse to eat more crap and do nothing of course. Well, no more. I got through step without really noticing the head cold. The only sign of it on my ride this morning was when I had snot running down my face because the lights refused to turn red to give me a chance to blow my nose. Oh, and I had to spit a couple of times. Gross, right? I hate doing that, but the alternative wasn't good. Sorry about the TMI, I'm just putting it all out there today, I CBF editing the thoughts going through my head for what is appropriate to put in writing.

I could go on and on today - that's what happens when I leave a month between blogs I guess. I have still been reading other blogs, but I haven't been posting on them much. I'll try to be more diligent with that, although the next couple of weeks do promise to be annoyingly busy. I'll see what I can do, and I'll try to keep up to date with my own blog too :)

General life, general whinge, and hatred of HRMs

Hi ho, nothing much to update in my world, but I do fancy having a bit of a whinge, so here I am. Nobody in the non-online world wants to listen, so I might as well burden the blog community with my lunatic ravings.

My legs hurt. And my arms hurt. My back and chest do too. Let's just say I'm a ball of hurt today. The trouble is, I know it's going to get worse from here as the DOMS sets in from last night's pump class. Fortunately my legs weren't too sore when I first woke up this morning, or there's no way I would have gone out for a run. I'm still in that trying-to-talk-myself-out-of-everything mode at the moment. Nevertheless, I did go for a quick jog around the neighbourhood this morning, and I can now happily report that the remainder of today will be exercise free. Well I might take the weight-loss pug on a quick jaunt around the block if I get to mum's early enough for tea, but that doesn't really count.

I'm not entirely sure where my last blog left off, so hopefully I don't repeat. Monday night I went to boxing, and it was good. I'm feeling it more in my middle back than anywhere else, but I'm happy to get some good muscles happening there. My skipping is also improving out of sight, and that's an awesome cardio workout.

Tuesday morning was the circuit, which was ok without anything fabulous to report. Last night was a 10 minute cardio warm up, then the pump class. I upped my weights last night, hence the soreness today I suspect. Weights last night were 15lb for warm up, biceps, and triceps; 10lb for shoulders and lunges; 25lb for squats; 20lb for chest and back.

My HRM is showing really low and pathetic calorie burns at the moment. So I hate it. I've worked out that this has happened since I did the fitness test thing on the weekend. It came in at a really low value which I thought was weird at the time - my fitness isn't brilliant yet, but it isn't awful either. I had my exercise level set to moderate when it should be high, and I did the test sitting up and with some distractions happening, so I think I need to do it again and see if that fixes the problem. If it doesn't I think I'm going to throw the stupid thing from here to next week - it's certainly not acting as a motivator with what it's spitting out at the moment.

OK enough complaining from me. I'll be back to whinge again soon - it seems to be my mood of the moment, apologies for that.

Feeling meh

I've been feeling a bit blah the last couple of days. Yesterday I could have eaten every carb known to man kind. I resisted pretty well all day, but had a small encounter with the cereal packet when I got home late last night. It's all good, my weekly cals will still be under, and I've been OK today. Thinking about food literally all day, and would have liked to eat all day, but I haven't given into that impulse thankfully.

What is interesting is that I don't really know what I'm craving. I just want food. I'm pretty sure this is a boredom thing, because the project I'm working on at work is driving me completely insane. I was also up really late last night, which was stupid considering I was having a ravenous day. I think I need some good sleep, so it will be an early one tonight methinks.

Exercise wise things are going OK. I got up and went to the curcuit this morning, despite being tired and really not inspired. Yay me. Tomorrow I'm thinking I'll do a run after work, around the eastern suburbs where it's nice and flat, rather than getting up for a morning jog in the hills.

I ordered a new electrode strap for my HRM today, which with any luck will be delivered tomorrow (thank you Jess for saving me a couple hundred $$$ and not replacing the whole unit). This will give me a better idea of what I'm burning with my current regime, and then I can tweak it as necessary. In my mind I'm thinking 3500 exercise calories a week would be a good aim. I suspect I might need to up the ante on what I'm currently doing to achieve that. Now the weather is nicer, it would be a good idea to dust off Matilda the bike and ride to work one day a week. That used to give me an 800 odd calorie burn I think (although I did live further away from the office now I come to think of it). That will be on next week's to do list - get Matilda serviced and back on the road.

Is 8:30pm too early for bed? I don't care if I'm a granny, I'm buggered. Zzzz.

Musings of a maniac

I've just got thoughts buzzing around in my head randomly at the moment, so I thought I'd spit them all out here. Probably not logically or with any consistent flow, but blogs are like that sometimes.

Firstly, I'm an idiot. A down right fool. If I was on CK and saw someone complaining that they're not using their calories, or wondering if it was OK to not eat their calorie limit, I'd grumble to myself about how annoying it is. Yet here I am doing exactly the same thing. It's times like this that make me realise just how much of a head game weight loss is.

So I sit at my desk half the day thinking I'd like something extra to eat, but then convincing myself that I don't need it. Great for the concentration while working on some pretty complex accounts, I might add. I'm just terrified of eating too much earlier in the day and running out of calories at night. But then I want to get out of the habit of eating after dinner. Can't have it both ways, dumbo. Seriously, this is not brain surgery, the logical person in me can see the answers right in front of my face. But can I take my own advice? Not often. I seriously need to work on this.

Now, about the aftermath of my 10k on Monday. I'm thinking I probably shouldn't have done so much so soon, but it's done now, and it does make me want to do more - running is like that. I hate taking off for a run, and I don't much like it while I'm doing it most of the time, but I LOVE the feeling afterwards. It's such an achievement. But should a 25kg overweight person who is 3 weeks back into a fitness regime be going out running 10k on the pavement? Well my knees, ankles, hips and lower back are suggesting perhaps not.

I was reading something the other day (I can't remember where off hand...) about the power of muscle memory, and how people returning to exercise can have much more rapid results than those doing it the first time. The article was talking more about weight bearing exercise and body building, but I think this must apply to running, and probably other cardio based exercise, as well. I doubt whether many people at my current weight and in my current level of conditioning (i.e. very poor) could have pushed on for a 10k run, particularly in the hilly sections. I'm certain I didn't do so much so soon when I was first getting fit a few years ago. It's not because I'm so tough now, or so immune to pain - I'm a pansy really (I stood up in the middle of bottom half squats last night in Pump, it hurt *cry baby*). So the only answer that really makes sense is muscle memory - my body knows it's done this before, and it knows it can do it again.

Along a similar line of thought - my body seems to adapt to certain exercise really fast, which is kind of annoying. I've got my HRM back out of the cupboard, and in part I can see why I stopped using it to start with. The stupid thing flashes a heart rate of 00 at random intervals, which is particularly annoying and stops me focussing on what I'm supposed to be doing. It might be time for a new one. Do I go Polar again, or do I go Garmin? Advice gratefully accepted! Anyway, it seemed to be working fine in Pump last night, I didn't see any 00 readings. But I burnt about 220 stupid calories in 55 minutes. My heart rate is low, particularly if I'm laying down. So laying down with the chest and tricep tracks, despite lifting weights and feeling the burn, my heart rate was about 60. My max heart rate for the session was 130, even with squats etc. Now the realist in me knows that I don't do pump for the calorie burn, I do it for strength and muscle conditioning. But I find it damn annoying seeing that little calorie number at the end of a tough workout. Hmph.

Just quickly before I sign off and find somewhere else to waste my time - weights for pump last night: 10lb warmup, lunges and shoulders; 15lb chest, bicep, tricep; 20lb squats and back. An increase for a few tracks.

10k, 10k, 10k!!!

Sit back, relax and prepare yourselves, this could be a long update :)

1st things 1st (which is completely out of order for the weekend round up, but it's foremost in my mind for now)... I mapped out a 10k route... 10.35km to be precise... and did it today! I walked one hill in the middle-end section, but in total that was only about 200m of walking in a 10.35km circuit. And it was hilly too - 107m ascent and descent according to buckeye outdoor. The pace was slow (1:14:30 to complete), but I'm freaking proud of myself for making it, and for taking on all but one of the big hills. I have come a seriously long way in the space of a few weeks, and I look forward to more improvements to come.

OK, now a retrospective of the long weekend gone by. Not really sure what I did on Friday night, not much I suspect. Oh, I made a chicken rose pasta sauce. It was pretty good, but not fabulous. More attempts required to perfect it. Philadelphia cooking cream is a marvelous invention though, it's making creamy sauces possible calorie-wise again.

As for Saturday - I slept in til 9 or so (well I was awake, but tooling around on the net in bed). Then I got up and had to hurry through a few things before heading to the gym at 10. Even in the space of a week I could see the improvement in fitness - last week I had intended to do step followed by pump, but died toward the end of step and just could not face staying for the second class. This week I certainly felt the work involved in step, but was quite comfortable staying for pump as well. The squats track is still killing me ATM, but I'll toughen up in time.

Actually, now I think of it, I wanted to record my current (embarrassingly puny) weights that I'm using for each track, so I can see the changes over time. Here they are:

• Warm up, bicep, tricep, shoulders, lunges - 10lb
• Chest, back - 15lb
• Squats - 20lb

On Saturday afternoon I went grocery shopping and spent some time cleaning, tidying and washing - exciting stuff. I also had a minor incident with a packet of sultanas, evil things. They're now packed in the bottom of a big tub in the pantry so I have to go hunting to find them next time I'm on the path to going crazy.

Sunday morning started at 6 for the markets, it was beautiful (i.e. not freezing) for the first time in recent memory. Then we came back to my place for scrambled eggs and good coffee for breakfast, then headed for mum's. I played with the puppies for half hour, then we ventured out on our shopping adventures. First stop Ikea, where I managed to spend $50 despite not planning on buying anything, duh. Next it was to Freedom for the awesome cannisters I wanted for my pantry - $150 later, but they rock, and the pantry is looking much more organised for them. Next a quick dash across town to the Plaza, for our massage appointments. I had a neck, shoulder and back massage, which bloody hurt, but was much needed. I didn't realise how impacted my lower back had gotten. Lunch (from a little Asian cafe that makes great sandwiches), more shopping, and another trip to another shopping centre, finally calling it a day as the shops were shutting. Man we can shop when we're on a mission.

Back at mum's place, I took the dogs out for a longish walk. Bazil the pug has been officially put on a diet by the vet - he weighed in at 15.7kg last week! He has a small growth on his tail which may need removing at some future time if it continues to grow, but he's currently too overweight to have an anaesthetic. So, his food has been reduced by a third, and exercise is on the agenda. He walked about 2km before giving up the ghost (which is actually a really good effort for him), so I bundled him into the dog pram, and Kali and I kept going for another 2km or so. They were both exhausted after that, definitely good for all of us. Last up was roast pork for dinner (delicious), then off home.

This brings me to holiday Monday. I had planned to do my run first thing in the morning, but I couldn't face it this morning. In fact I tried to talk myself out of it all day, but I'm SO happy I eventually did it. Other than that, I did some cooking, cleaned out the pantry, did some gardening and weeding, painted the bird bath and painted the graffiti off my shed. Busy day!

I'd really rather not be going back to work tomorrow, there was some extra stuff I wanted to get done around the house this weekend, but such is life. Time for some goals:

1. Finish the big project at work (spectacularly failed at that last week, ahem)
2. Eat at 1500
3. 2 runs and 2 gym sessions
4. Take my dad out on the weekend
5. Clean out the junk drawer and the t-shirt drawer

Have a great week everyone!

Things I have learnt today

1. Never bring home a barbecued chicken when you're famished. It smells and tastes way too good.
2. A step class from 2 days ago can have a real lasting impact on your calf muscles.
3. Deep heat is a friend to my calf muscles.
4. Shoes with heels are not a friend to my calf muscles.
5. The calf muscles ease up when they get warm, or when your attention is distracted by other pain. You know, like when you can't breathe running up a hill. Suck it up and work through it.

As you may have gathered, I've eaten too much tonight. However, I went for a run this morning (and increased the pace and distance - 4.5km at an average 9.2km/h, so that was great. I also went to a cardio box class tonight. It was the first time it was offered on the program, so there was a lot of technique and introductory stuff, but it was still a big workout. I wouldn't say that I loved it, the instructor is a bit of a bitch, but I'll give it another go before I write it off.

I had a really crap day at work, not that anything went wrong, just that I didn't really do anything. I have seriously got to find my work mojo, stuff is piling up around my ears. Here's to getting in to that damn big project tomorrow.

Another weekend gone

How do these weekends keep slipping by so fast? I'm sorry this one is gone, but there are two things keeping me chipper this Sunday evening.

One, the boss is away this week, and will not be ringing - he's doing an 800km bike ride from Adelaide to Geelong. I wish him well for the big ride (especially as it is for a charitable cause, in memory of a friend who passed away from leukaemia a week or so ago), but I'm also REALLY happy he won't be on the phone this week. We get on well, but I'm ready for a week's trial separation. He can be quite demanding, and having some time to get stuck into a big project without side projects from him is something I am very much looking forward to.

Two, next weekend is a long weekend, the first one since June and I am hanging out for it. I am 150% sure that I'm not working this long weekend, not even a little log in from home for a couple of hours like I usually do. I need the break, and damn it I'm taking it.

So, anyway, I'm in quite high spirits this evening. The weekend has been a good one all round really. On Friday night I went for a run from the office (seeing as I failed to drag my butt out of bed in the morning). It was an awesome run - I had forgotten how rewarding it is to run on relatively flat terrain, compared to the killer hills around my house. I covered 5.75km or thereabouts, and didn't need to stop to walk at all. It wasn't a very fast pace, about 8.6km/h, but I felt great that I could cover that distance, so the speed will return in time.

After the run and a bit of recovery, I headed for home, had something quick for dinner (I think it was a vegemite sandwich of all things... perhaps I need to revisit "balanced diet 101" and "refueling the body with protein". But I was hungry and it was quick. Meh.) I then got stuck into my baking. I love to bake, and I haven't done any for a month or more, so I've missed it. It was a bit of a test for me, because I usually spend as much time eating the ingredients and various batters as I do cooking. I won't say that I didn't eat any of the raw materials, I probably downed 500 calories odd, but I certainly didn't binge out, and I didn't eat any of the final products. I'm proud as can be - something has finally snapped into place in my stupid head, and I'm over the binging. Weird (but awesome).

On Saturday I got up a little later than planned, but made it to the gym for the step class. I love step, I'm not massively coordinated (but not completely unco either), so I have to concentrate to follow and remember the moves. This is great for me, because then I focus on something other than the pain in my legs or how much I'm struggling to breathe. It was a good class, and I hope I can fit it in semi regularly. I didn't stay for body bar, because I was buggered, and I didn't want my legs to pull up so sore that it put me off schedule for the week ahead. Small steps.

After a quick call into the supermarket, I returned home and continued the baking feast while watching the drawn grand final. Very little taste testing today too (except for a damn cheesecake I made, it was devine. I had 3 spoonsful and then gave myself a stern talking to, put it in the fridge and didn't touch it again). All up, I made a dozen melting moments, 2 dozen triple chocolate cookies, 2 dozen neiman marcus cookies, 15 cinnamon and sultana muffins, and 14 miniature cheesecakes. I knew it had been too long since I baked, I wanted to make everything! The good news is the whole lot has now been delivered to willing recipients - a lot of it to mum and dad's, and the rest to my friend Lou and her family.

On Saturday night I went out to dinner and watched a movie with my best mate Lou. She's been really sick for several months with glandular fever and other nasty viral things, but she appears to be coming through the worst of it now. I haven't seen much of her while she's been sick as her main pastime has been sleeping, and she hasn't been up to visitors. It was brilliant to see her again, and I realised how much I've missed her. I like to be a hermit at times, but it's great to have friends who know you inside out too. We met at school when we were 9 years old, went right through high school together, then went to uni together too. I half lived at her place in uni holidays, we were pretty much inseparable. So yeah, good times. I had lasagne at the cafe where we had dinner - possibly not the best choice, but not a tragedy. I had the calories saved, so all is well.

Sunday saw me up bright and sparky at 6am, ready for mum to pick me up at 6.15 and head to the markets. I was pretty bleary eyed after getting home after midnight, but it's a good way to start the day nonetheless. We were there for ages today, lots of trash and treasure stalls to look through, and we got some cute stuff for my niece Lara. We got our lovely fresh vegetables, then retired to my place for coffee and scrambled eggs. Mum left about 10.30, and I got on with some chores around the house, made my lunches for the week, made a stir fry for a couple of dinners (which came in at a beatifully low calorie count I might add), and stewed some apples for a sweet treat or two.

Late in the arvo I went round to mum's place, and took those stinky dogs for a bath, it was finally warm enough to wash them. Kali was very badly behaved and barked at other dogs, and also scared the crap out of someone when she lunged wildly at them walking past with their staffy. Kali is a massive black German Shepherd, so she looks pretty scary. She actually wants to lick the dogs she's barking at, but from the dog owner's view I'm sure it looks like she wants to eat them. Very embarrassing, I think we'll need to get Bark Busters back for a refresher course. Bazil the Pug was not at all amused by the bath, but there's only so much fuss a dog that size can kick up (thankfully). They smell much much better now, but the hair they are dropping everywhere is insane. Glad it's not in my house! I stayed on for dinner at mum's (roast pork, delicious), then made my way home.

So here we go with the goals for the week ahead:

1. Make some major progress on my big work project
2. Eat at 1500 calories, give or take
3. Stick to the exercise plan - 3 runs, 1 circuit, 1 boxing class, 1 body bar class, and anything that else that fits in with the weekly regime
4. Do a small housework job every night after work/gym so I don't have to waste the long weekend cleaning the house
5. 7 hours sleep a night

Not much happening

Sometimes I think my life must look like groundhog day to the general observer. Today would have appeared to be such a duplicate of the day before that it would be indistinguishable from an outside perspective.

Up early, get in some exercise, go to work for 10 or 11 hours, head to the gym, go home and reheat some food - exact same meal as the previous evening. Then get on the internet, watch TV and eat food all at the same time (I have issues with not being uber-entertained). When you put it like that, it even sounds repetitive to me.

But I like to focus on the small differences. For example, my exercise was different - a run and an orbit class on Monday, a circuit class and a pump class on Tuesday. While I sit at the same desk in my same old office every day, the stuff I do each day is very rarely the same. Yes, it is predominantly accountant-geek work, but it differs a lot in the detail. There are days when I hate my job because of its competing priorities and the need to keep 10 balls in the air at once (while answering 50 questions for staff who could probably figure it out for themselves), but these are also the very reasons that I mostly love my job.

I probably haven't spoken much about my job on here yet. About 70% of my time is dedicated to a financial controller position for a group of hotels in Darwin. Heaps of variety comes through this channel alone - the hotels in the group include some bars, a nightclub and a motel, so they all have their own idiosyncracies and special requirements. Dealing with folk from Darwin has also been a big learning curve, business is just done differently above the Tropic of Capricorn, and we have to learn to accept it. Nothing gets done with much urgency, and all important decisions are made over a beer in the bar. The other 30% of my work is in tax and business services for a small business and individual client base. This was what I used to do full time, and I was completely over it, but I now really enjoy having a small amount of this type of work still in my life.

Hmm, I've been a bit grumpy with my work life lately, but writing it out like that makes me realise that I do still love it. Time to stop getting bogged down in the detail and look at the bigger picture I think.

Right, time to finish off with a goal review for the week to date:

• Exercise - on schedule, got my circuit and pump classes in this morning and this evening respectively. I took it fairly easy on the weights in pump, while I figure out where my strength and endurance is currently at. As a result, the bicep, tricep and squat tracks were easier than they should have been, and I know I'll need to increase next time. The shoulders and chest tracks hurt (a lot), and my legs were already sore from previous sessions, so I think I'm going to be mildly crippled tomorrow. I'm looking forward to that rest day.
• Diet - exactly the same as yesterday (well, I did have a different flavoured yoghurt lol). I'm eating at mum's tomorrow, so the calories will be higher for dinner, I think she's doing turkey casserole.
• Focus at work - much better today, and actually got a few things finished.
• Sleep - 7 hours again last night
• Internet usage - still disturbingly high. I don't think blogging is helping with that lol.

Until tomorrow...

Goal check

Well here I am, reporting on progress to date on the weekly plan.

Exercise - success. I went for a run this morning, despite spending a good 10 minutes trying to talk myself out of it. I took a 4km route I've done a couple of times in recent weeks, and I can really see the improvements I've made already, which is very encouraging. I'm running at almost 9km/hour (including some quite unfriendly hills), and managed to run the whole way without dying. Tonight I went to the gym and sat on a bike for 15 minutes, then joined the ''orbit'' class. This is a swiss ball based toning class, which I thought would be pretty easy. Um, no. I suspect the rest of my weekly exercise plans will be in danger come tomorrow morning when I'm unable to walk. Lots of squats and lunges (which incidentally is exactly why I have to do classes and not freestyle it myself either at the gym or at home. I'll use a leg press machine and whatever, but I will NEVER do squats and lunges unless I'm forced to do them in a class. And I know they're good for me... but they hurt!!)

Food intake - not terrible, but could be better. I can't believe I'm berating myself for under-eating, this is an all time first for me. I've eaten all really good, nutritious food, but only 1,300 calories, which is really a bit light on with 1 1/2 hours of exercise. As I've said before, my head is broken when it comes to food, and being a recovering binge-eater makes me hesitant to push more food in when I'm not really hungry. I could certainly eat more, I don't doubt that, but I don't feel that I need it especially. I am theorising that my appetite will really pick up once I'm doing a lot more regular exercise, so I think I'll roll with it for now, and make a conscious effort to increase the intake if I'm struggling for energy later in the week.

When I come to think about it, I guess my intake is low mainly because I'm not factoring in "treats" much these days, so perhaps it's not so bad after all - that crap doesn't fuel the body anyway. There are duel reasons for the lack of treats in my diet at this stage. #1, I've developed an allergy to chocolate. Sob. It gives me a gross rash all over my body. #2, it's the treat foods that have been mostly responsible for binge eating behaviour in recent times (you know the drill, bake a batch of muffins then eat them all...) At the moment I'm coping quite well without the treats in my daily intake - if I don't start on the rubbish, I can't get stuck in a binge-spiral. I'm not naïve enough to think this is sustainable for all eternity, and if I'm out with people or I particularly want something, I'll have it. But for now, I'll have to make sure that's in public, so I can't eat a whole cake instead of just a slice, or whatever it may be.

Focus at work - ahem. Next topic.

Sleep - I got a good 7 hours in last night, but if I don't stop blogging, tonight's not going to be so good. Goodnight all!

Blogging at work again

This week at work has been a stinker. Everything going wrong and nothing going right. Sigh. This job has weeks like that, and we just look forward to better times next week. That being said, if I don't get organised and get the crappy stuff finished and off my desk today, I'll still be facing it next week, and that's not tempting. Better keep the blog short today then!

While I'm on to negativity... guess how much exercise I've done this week? None. Nada. Zero. The call of the warm comfy bed has alas been too great every morning this week. BUT! I bit the bullet and rejoined a gym last night, so all this is about to change. It's a much less fancy gym than my last one, but then it's not full of posers and beautiful people either, and it's also less than half the price. I have paid $375 upfront for my 12 month membership, so it's time to get some good use out of it.

The thing I like about this gym is that it has some later group fitness classes, which I will be able to get to, even with my stupidly long working hours. There are classes at 7.10pm 3 days a week, and one at 7.30pm on Thursdays. They also have "Xpress" classes (30 minute circuit classes, a bit like Curves and Contours I gather) at 6.15am 2 days a week. I think I'd like to try that, and couple it with 20 minutes or so of my own cardio. There are separate cardio and pin loaded weights areas where you can do your own thing as well - I plan to use these in conjunction with the classes, but at the moment I think I need the motivation of a class to get me back into the swing of things.

I'd really like to get back into running and cycling properly as well. I have done a few runs in the last couple of weeks, and my shins are complaining a bit (I have had stress fractures from shin splints in the my very distant gymnastics past, so I know not to push through that too much). My theory is that if I combine some running with some other gym work, my fitness and muscle tone will build up again, and my weight will drop, and this will make things much easier on my shins anyway. I can then increase the running side of things at a point down the track.

My plans are all pretty flimsy at the moment, but I'm tossing around some running goals in my head - maybe a 10km fun run in December, but not so sure about that one. I'd like to do the 12km city to bay again in September 2011, and somewhere down the track I'd like to be in a position to do a half marathon. All pie in the sky with my current physical conditioning, but you have to have dreams right? I am also giving some thought to preparing a more general "101 in 1001" list (101 goals to complete in 1001 days), as I have seen on Kylie's and some other blogs this year. My running and fitness goals could form part of that.

On a final note - dietary. Yay for me! I've been awesome with my eating this week, including a dinner out at a buffet (always a troublesome thing for me, given portion control and binge eating are my main vices in life). I possibly ate too much volume at the buffet, but made all fantastic choices - loads of steamed and stir fried vegetables, plus some roast meat and vegetables, and the smallest of small (like a tablespoonful!) of noodles. No sweets!

I am approaching the eating side of things so differently this time around, and I'm sure I'm much healthier for it. The last couple of days I've barely made it to 1200 calories, and not because of a conscious effort to stay under that limit, I actually think it's too low. I just haven't been hungry for more, which is something I could NEVER have said last time I was "on the wagon" - I was entirely fixated on food every hour I was awake in those days.

I honestly think the biggest difference has been giving up artificial sweeteners and processed crap "diet food". Don't get me wrong, I still use light options of some things (low fat milk and yoghurt etc), but for the most part, I'm using unprocessed, fresh food in appropriate portion sizes. I don't own a microwave, so the temptation for pre prepared, processed-to-within-an-inch-of-their-life weight watchers/lean cuisine type meals is gone. All that Diet Coke in all it's chemical laden glory is gone. A much healthier way of life.

I still think that to some degree, I will suffer from disordered eating for the rest of my life. I'm too much of an "all in or all out" person to ever think I'm going to be any different. But I am actively working on strategies to manage it better, and who knows, maybe some day I'll be cured :o)

OK, time for some work... boo!