Deep and meaningful

It's time to get all deep and meaningful for a Friday lunch time.

I'm lacking a real sense of direction and set of distinct goals at the moment, and I feel like I'm drifting in a pool of "maybe's". I know for sure that I want to lose weight and get fit. Everything else is in maybe-town.

Maybe I'd like to get into running, run a 10km fun run, run the city-bay next year, run a half marathon next year.

Maybe I'd like to get into triathlons.

Maybe I'd like to get into distance cycling.

Maybe I'd like to fly to the moon.

The trouble with all of these options is that they require planning and dedication and commitment. By flitting about trying to do a bit of everything, I'm not going to be able to give it what it takes.

I've also just been reading some blogs of other people who have defined goals in distance running and triathlon, and I realise just how unprepared I am to take up that challenge myself at the moment.

I know how to eat to lose weight, and I know how to train to get generically "fit" - I've done that before. But I have absolutely no idea how to eat and train specifically for performance in a particular field. I will need help with that, and help costs money. I will be prepared to pay for it, but not until I'm completely convinced that I've chosen a direction and I'm working towards a defined goal.

And so my conclusion is thus... this journey is going to be a staged process. Stage 1 is to lose a pile of weight, with no specific endurance training goal in mind. Whatever my chosen path, I'm going to need to be a whole lot lighter and a whole lot fitter than I am right now.

I don't care so much about my weight as a number - I don't currently know how much I weigh, and frankly I don't want to know. The scales make me crazy and obsessive and often self destructive. I want to be a fit and toned size 12 again. I got down to a 10 a couple of years ago, but I looked awful, drawn in the face and the bones of my chest visible (despite still having a pot belly and chunky thighs, grr).

I'm going to get lighter and fitter by trying a bit of everything. I will do cardio and weights side by side, and make sure I don't lose muscle along with the flab. I'm not sticking just to running for cardio - I'm going to do step classes, and boxing classes, and I might try to get into a routine of cycling to work once a week again too. On the weights side of things, I'll mix up the classes and try some body bar, some circuits, and whatever else floats my boat.

This won't be a rapid process, it never is. By the time I'm a lighter, fitter version of my current self, chances are that I will have a better idea about what type of exercise I'd like to focus on next.

Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a plan. I feel better now :)