There's lots going on in my head today, but I'll try to keep it simple. I need to make sure I've still got something to say when my life is going along in a very boring fashion, as it has a happen to do a lot of the time.
I ate a piece of cake at work today. I was initially wracked with the guilts (which is interesting, given 2 or 3 weeks ago I was eating everything in sight and not really too worried about it). It's amazing what a difference a little bit of motivation makes. Anyway, I ate it. About 300 calories worth I think. In reflecting on it, I have both positive and negative reactions to it. On the positive - I ate the cake, then I threw the box with all the little bits and crumbs in the bin, so I couldn't go back for it. I also didn't go off on a crazy binge and eat all the lollies and chocolates which are annoyingly kept in our offices at work. Not so long ago, I would have been 1,000 calories down without stopping for breath. And probably calling at the supermarket for more crap on the way home. On the negative side - I still ate the cake in secret. I waited until everyone at work was well away from the kitchen, and then shovelled it in. I need to get away from that secret food mentality - if I'm prepared to eat it, I should be prepared to eat it in front of others and not be ashamed.
In other news, I went for my second run in two days this morning. It was freezing outside at 5.55am when I set off (well not quite freezing, but only 3 or 4 degrees) - but I still got out there and did it. My distances and pace are both pretty woeful at this stage, but I'm confident I'll be able to build it up again. I just wish there was one direction I could take from my house which didn't result in nasty hills. I ran up Briens Road and actually made it to the top of the biggest hill, which I was really happy with. At that point my lungs nearly exploded and I had to walk for a couple of hundred metres, but an achievement nonetheless. I also had to walk a bit on the return journey, coming up over the large rise at the end. I think I would have run about 3.5km out of the 4km circuit, so it's a start and something to build on.
I think the weather is turning ugly again in the next couple of days, but with any luck I'll manage another run or two this week. I do feel like I have more energy already, so it's definitely a worthwhile pursuit (and will make losing this weight a whole lot faster and easier no doubt).
There's lots of changes going on at work at the moment, and I've got a meeting with the boss tomorrow to catch up on the last couple of weeks of happenings. I usually chase him for meetings to keep us both up to date with everything, but I've been letting it slide recently. He's giving me the irrits (for no particular reason really - he has a lot of annoying aspects to his personality, but that hasn't changed in recent times, but it's suddenly driving me crazy). I can be pretty well assured that he's not going to change, and I went into this job knowing full well what he is like, so I need to find a way to suck it up and get on with it.
It's an interesting thing that I'm suddenly feeling disengaged from my work. This happened the last time I got really dedicated to exercise and weight loss, and ultimately resulted in me changing jobs. I wonder why I can be satisfied with both areas of my life at the same time? This is a rhetorical question for now, but it is something I need to ponder and reconcile for myself.
I'm in the mood to snack, so I'm going to have an early night and get away from temptation!