Long hiatus

I haven't updated here in a good while. I've been thinking about it, I just haven't got quite so far as doing it.

For once, my long absence does not mean a period of sloth and binge eating. Well there has probably been some of that in that time... but right now I'm in a pretty good place. I just don't want to jinx it.

One point of note, though, is that I am completely over running. All of a sudden I hate it. So I'm not going to do it for a while. I might still run a 5k a week to make sure I don't have to start completely from scratch when I'm over this little tantrum, but I'm not running 3 or 4 days a week. I don't want to and I'm not going to. So there. I have been suffering from some injuries of late, most notably from shin splints - and they only seem to bother me when running. I can do all manner of gym classes and I don't notice it, but hit the streets and I'm in agony. I think this is largely related to the stupid expensive running shoes I bought and hate. I'm going back to netball shoes, they just work for my feet. I haven't played netball in 15 years, but I like the shoes.

Having said that I'm over running, I did complete the City to Bay on Sunday. It's a 12km run and should be an easy one, given it's pretty much all flat or downhill. I struggled through it though (probably unaided by the fact I hadn't run AT ALL for 2 weeks prior. Yeah, good plan that). So I made it in 1:19:54, which is pretty damn slow, but a finish nonetheless. When I was skinny and uber-fit 3 years ago I did it in 1:01:45. I'd like to think that I'll give that a shake again next year - but for the time being, I'm focussing on doing stuff that I'm enjoying, which will hopefully help the trend of losing weight, which will help make running easier and faster. And so the cycle goes.

After a really rocky road these last few years, I finally feel like my head is in a good space. I'm enjoying the gym, I'm eating well, and dare I say it, I'm kind of happy. I don't know why the sudden change. To be honest my personal situation hasn't changed much at all. My dad still has Alzheimer's and is getting worse. I'm still working with businesses in administration and liquidation, which is really, really hard and stressful. My weight and fitness are still nowhere near where I want them to be. But I have finally come to the realisation that none of these factors defines me. They are issues that I have to deal with, and they shape my day-to-day life, but they don't define me as a person. I can find happiness whilst still being surrounded by shit. And that has to be a good thing.