I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but I completed a half marathon on Sunday :P
Jokes aside, I am struggling to write a race report on this race. This might be partly to do with the fact that I am working 14 hours a day at the moment :( But it's also a lot to do with how I feel "after the fact".
The people I've been talking to about the race - my lovely blog peeps, friends, work people... well you're all a whole lot prouder of me than I am of myself. I don't get it - if this was someone else's blog and I was reading about them running 21.1km for the first time, I would be offering massive congrats. It shouldn't matter that the time was slow. It shouldn't matter that I walked maybe a kilometre along the way. I finished the course and I should be proud of the achievement. But I'm not.
Maybe with all the work crap going on, I'm just not giving myself time to sit and dwell on the achievement of it. Maybe it will hit me while I'm on holidays and finally having some down time. I hope so. But in the meantime, I feel... well, disappointed. I'm annoyed with myself that I didn't train harder in the lead up, and skipped too many scheduled runs, especially in the last few weeks. I'm also really pissed that I didn't get my act into gear and lose some weight, which would have made the run so much easier (and faster, no doubt). I really need to get my head straight, sort through these feelings, and move on. I'll come back faster and stronger... I'm just not there yet.
I tend to feel like that a lot after a long ride... make sure you're eating enough.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, have some red snakes, get the body back right, and you'll be yourself in no time.
(And I still want a race report.......)
Love you =) You did an AWESOME job.
I could have written this after so many of my races. I seem to self sabotage and make it to race fitness and weight 2 weeks prior to a scheduled run and then lose my sh!t, I digress...
ReplyDeleteTrust me, 21.1km is an awesome achievement. Let yourself acknowledge that. And you know what, the next race you sign up for you'll know what you want to achieve and how you're going to do it. You'll have a better preparation, it might not be perfect, but it will be better because you know what you have to do.
I hope your work situation improves. It appears to be using a lot of your energy. Take care.
It is pretty amazing just the fact that you achieved something you set out to do. Congrats for that.
ReplyDeleteEven if you aren't one, sometimes a perfectionist streak can swing by and ruin a perfectly good moment. Like a drive by:)
OK Megan, time for some hard lovin'...
ReplyDeleteYou freakin' ROCKED that race! And you bloody well better accept that! You are right, if that was someone else, what would you be saying?
Imagine it was you standing at the finish line and it was me dragging my butt up that hill at the end... What would you be calling out to me? What would you say? How would you feel? Got that?
Right, now flip it around and put that back on yourself.
No excuses. You absolutely ROCKED on Sunday and you need to acknowledge that!
:)
OK, now for some real lovin'... Seriously Megan, I know how stressed you are at work right now, but please, take 5 minutes and absorb your amazing achievement. Coz we all luvs ya and we think you are brilliant. Now you just have to believe it too.